Crunchier by the Day

The word 'crunchy' gets tossed around a lot these days.  Especially in this little town we live in, people seem to gravitate towards healthier lifestyles, more natural diets, and living green.  It's nice to see the effort the whole community puts into these endeavours.  In the big city sure there are crunchy people, but there are just as many non-crunchy people so it's easy to blend in with the pack and get away with not trying so hard.  It doesn't make you feel so bad to not live healthier and greener when so many people around you aren't doing it either.  Here on the other hand, there's almost like a bit of 'pressure' to live a crunchy lifestyle.  It's not a bad thing in many ways, though I'm not a big fan of being pressured into anything.  Still, seeing the people around us make positive changes has helped us get on the bandwagon as well, and make more positive changes in our own lives.

 

When I look back to how I have lived my life over these past 31 years, I can see a definite upwards slope in the right direction.  It has been gradual though, the change has not happened overnight.  I think back to how much fast food we used to eat, and how much we used to eat at restaurants.  Then I think back to how much processed food we used to buy, and I would tell myself that we were 'eating healthy' because we were eating at home and not out at a restaurant, but the truth is all that boxed and packaged stuff was just as bad. 

 

It's hard to pinpoint such changes when they happen gradually, and only looking back can I really see how far we've come.  I know the first thing many people think of when they're faced with making  huge lifestyle and diet changes for the better, is that it is too overwhelming.  And so they do nothing at all.  I have felt that way too, I have felt that it is easier to stay on the path I'm already on than to tackle all these changes.

 

The thing is, you don't have to change everything at once.  Start small with just one thing, whether it is changing your household cleaners from chemical to natural ones, or cutting out one item of junk from your diet.  Then when that becomes second nature, make another change.  You'd be astonished to realize how much change can happen in a short period of time if you just take it one step at a time.

 

For quite awhile now I have been wary of calling ourselves 'crunchy'.  There are so many variations and levels of crunchiness out there, and it seems that the extreme people who run the pack set very high standards.  While we had done so many things to improve our life and try and leave the world a little greener, it always seemed like we still could not match those who went all out.  It can be a little discouraging to be trying as hard as *you* can and yet someone else is still doing so much more.  I have learned to use those people as a motivation to keep striving to be a better, healthier, greener family but not be setback because I'm not doing all the same things as them.  I am also happy and comfortable with all the positive changes we have made as a family, and I know there are still lots more to be made but like I said we are making them one step at a time.  Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

 

So I am going to do it, I'm going to officially say we are a 'crunchy' family.  And I'm proud of it.  We may not be able to tick off every single checkbox yet, but we can tick off more than most.  I'd put us on a 7 out of 10 on the crunchy scale.  Hey, that's not half bad!

 

I don't really believe in living in extremes, so we may never be there 100%, but I'm ok with that.  Extreme diets, extreme opinions, that kind of stuff isn't for me.  I just want to do what's right for my family.  And we'll continue to do more.  Like I said, when I look back at how our lives used to be, even just a few years ago, I can't believe how far we've come. 

 

We use cloth diapers, which I wish I had done from the start because I now cringe at the thought of all those disposibles lying in a landfill.  I try to hang all my laundry year round to reduce the amount I have to use the dryer.  I am very conscious of energy and water use.  We're working on buying more locally, and buying healthier food.  The amount of food that we buy organic has increased a lot over the years.  Most recently we have cut out about 95% of packaged and processed foods we were buying.  We have been doing well with avoiding junk food in general but were still buying a lot of packaged snacks like cereal bars, granola, crackers, and chips (sticking to natural and organic brands, but the bottom line is organic junk food is still junk food).  Now we are making much of this stuff our own.  The only thing I am still really buying in a box is cereal, just to have something on hand.  But I am ok with that. 

 

Next step is I want to look into the Collingwood Food Co-op that has been in the works here for a few months.  I've kept an eye on it with interest and I think it's something we will join in the not too distant future so that we can continue to buy locally.

 

And of course we have been growing a lot of our own food, and continue to do so with winter crops in our hoop house.

 

Let's not forget my ongoing mission to lead a more active lifestyle through daily fitness.  I want to be a role model for my kids so that they see how important exercise is to overall health.  I want them to grow up enjoying being active, and not being couch potatoes. 

 

Another aspect that has really brought us around to this whole crunchy lifestyle, is taking a very holistic approach when it comes to our overall health.  Over the past few years we have started using more natural health practitioners like chiropractors, osteopaths, and naturopathic doctors to help us with our goals of becoming healthier individuals.  We have learned so much about what it means to be healthy from the inside out, and now I am such a firm believer in taking care of your body and treating it with respect.  Too often we see the situation of people going to their doctors with problems and the doctors are treating the symptoms and not the causes, and therefore people's health issues are never really resolved.  This is what happened to Tyler with his digestive issues, for years doctors dismissed him and treated the symptoms, when the solution really came from within:  a better diet and taking better care of himself altogether.  And too often still I see people who suffer from multiple issues that they treat as separate problems, when really it is one big problem, for example a food allergy or intolerance.  But they refuse to believe that the problem could be the very food they are eating, and still seek medical advice and then are given medication after medication to treat the problems.  It actually makes me quite sad.

 

We love our chiropractor.  We really believe it is part of helping our bodies be healthy.  A healthy body doesn't need medicine to heal itself, it is perfectly capable as long as we take care of it and let it do it's job.

 

I'm so happy to say that since we have started living this way we have had far less sickness in our house, and when a bug does pass through it passes quickly and without much issue.  My kids get the sniffles and that's about it.  None of them have every had a vomiting or gastro bug.  I know kids that are sick all the time, and even Tristan's teachers have commented on how he is rarely sick compared to other children.  Some people may say we are lucky, I say luck has nothing to do with it.

 

When it comes to products in the home, whether they are cleaning products or health and beauty ones, I used to feel so overwhelmed at the thought of changing over to more natural brands, especially because of the cost.  But again, we started changing one thing at a time and now we pretty much exclusively use natural products in our home.  When it comes to cleaning, I am far more afraid of chemicals in cleaning products than I am of germs.  When it comes to beauty, I believe less is more.  I used to buy and wear so much makeup, and buy so many skin care products.  Now I have hardly any.  I have stopped using nail polish because I can't see how having that toxic stuff around is any good.  I use very few skincare products compared to the past, and rarely wear makeup anymore.  And I'm ok with all of this, I'm comfortable in my own skin.  Even for my children, I put very little on their skin.

 

I think I could sit and think of lots of little changes we have made that I am proud of but I'm just about out of time for now.

 

Obviously I've had a lot to say on this topic, and I say it not with the intention of trying to change other people's minds (I actually don't care for people who go on and on about their healthier choices with the obvious intent of guilting others into doing the same), but because I am proud of what we have done for ourselves.  And I look forward to more 'crunchy' choices that we will make in the future.

Opinionated Parents

Parenting is hard.  And it seems to just keep getting harder as the kids get older.  The longer I have been a parent, the more information there is out there thrown at me.  The decisions keep getting harder, and the opinions keep getting stronger.  Sometimes I start to feel really overwhelmed.  It doesn't help that most stuff you read today is written by parents who sit in the extreme camps. 

But what if we're somewhere in between?  Hmmm, ok well, we are very health conscious and try to eat nutritious food, but sometimes my kids do get an occasional hot dog or cookie.  I am definitely all for breastfeeding, but then I also decided to vaccinate my children, so that makes me ok in some eyes but not ok in others.  I cloth diaper now but didn't in the past, and we are making a definite effort to be environmentally conscious but not everything we buy is always all natural or organic.  I do let my children watch tv, but I also make sure they are outside and active for most of the day.  I'm confused.  Where do we stand?

At times like this when I feel overwhelmed I try to take a deep breath and remember that with parenting comes so many choices, and there is always evidence supporting each one, whether it is scientific based or anecdotal.  So whichever choice we make is the right choice in some way.  Also, no two sets of parents will make exactly the same choices, and there is even difference of opinion within families.  What we choose to do for our family is what is right for us.  It may not be for someone else, but that is none of their business anyway.

I remember when F was tiny, he was hardly sleeping and I was so tired and depressed.  Everyone who saw me just knew by looking at me that I was really struggling, and I was usually holding back the tears whenever someone asked how he was sleeping at that point.  One day the receptionist at our chiropractor (who loved to ask every time we were there how he was sleeping) brought up the topic once again, this time to another mom with a baby just a few months older than F.  The nosy receptionist says to me "K (the other mom) co-sleeps and her baby sleeps all night long", and then they both just stood there looking at me as if to say "if you were co-sleeping too your baby would sleep".  I tried co-sleeping with T and quickly realized that it was not for us.  Not for us.  Fantastic that it worked for others of course, but not something that we felt worked for our family.

So I have to wonder, if not all parenting choices work for every family, why do other people care what we do?  Does it affect them in some way?  I have my opinions too, but I really don't care about the choices other people make and whether or not they are the right ones.  The only right choice is the one that is right for me and my family.

Of course we all like to meet like-minded parents.  It is important that our friends share some of our values, otherwise it might not be a very compatible friendship.  But as I am now starting to make many different mom friends, I can see the different ways that we do some things.  And that is ok.  I'd like to think though that despite some differences we have, we would still respect each other and maintain a friendship. 

I can't help but feel all defensive when people plaster their parenting opinions everywhere, pointing fingers and saying that if we do not do things the same way, then we must somehow be harming our children.  I stumbled across a blog one day where the mother openly admitted she would approach other moms at the playground to tell them what they are doing wrong with their children.  Really lady, does that make you a better mother and your children better kids than others?  I don't think so.  It only makes you feel better about yourself, but why you need to prove that to yourself I have no idea.

It seems like the people who voice their opinion the loudest are looking for validation, that they believe legions of other parents are going to jump up and down in agreement.  But I think if you are confident in your own parenting choices and ability you wouldn't need to voice it so loudly.

Reading a lot of this kind of stuff helps me do a lot of soul searching, about the kind of parent I want to be.  It also helps me build confidence in my own capabilities because I start to realize that I don't need others' opinions to help me make my decisions, that I am perfectly capable of making them on my own.  Opinions are just that - opinions.  They are not facts or set it stone.  So I am working hard on not letting them make me doubt myself.

When does it get easier and less overwhelming making choices for our children?  Well I suspect at least not until they are 18 and can start making them for themselves.  And do I think our choices are always right?  Absolutely.  They are always right for us, I can't vouch for other parents and their families.

I just wanted a place to get my thoughts out, hopefully I haven't sounded to opinionated. 

Facebook Statuses Will Not Change the World

Facebook, ah Facebook.  What a thing it has become.

Today I had it out with a friend after commenting on her FB status that I got quite offended with.  Normally I do not take bother of the silly things people post as their status, but this one hit close to home with me because I was actually in that situation and so I took offense.  My friend (a good friend I might add and here's hoping we're still friends after this), has not been in the situation she commented so strongly on. 

And it wasn't like I felt her statement was entirely false, there is a lot of truth into it.  But I feel it was made inappropriately without considering that perhaps some situations do not fit into the category she was criticizing.

I'm not one to make a big point about things.  I have a small voice that doesn't like to be heard.  But this time I want to be heard.

Content of offending status aside, it got me thinking a lot about FB statuses in general.  I'm sure I have reposted a few of the stupid ones that go around on occasion, though not for a long time and you won't catch me reposting any strong statements even if I feel strongly about them.  Sure, it makes it known to the world how you feel about that topic, but it doesn't accomplish anything.

If you feel so strongly about something, don't talk about it, do something about it.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

I am constantly seeing statuses about cancer awareness, other illnesses, child abuse, animal abuse, and just about any other topic in between, urging others to repost and usually with some sort of line that makes you feel guilty if you don't.  Please know that I agree with almost all of these kinds of causes.  But I feel as though my support is better off somewhere else and not pasted on my FB page.

There are ways you can put your words into action.  Volunteer at or donate to organizations who support your cause.  If you want to use your words, write to a newspaper or magazine.  Even blog.  You will reach an audience who cares that way.  Because I can assure you most of the people who read your FB status either don't care or won't take you seriously.  And you just might go offending some friends in the process.

I will confess, I have never been much of a doer.  I preferred to live in my bubble and think that whatever was going on in the outside world was not my problem.  I always used to think "Why should I donate money, I have none as it is!" or "I have no time to volunteer, I'm a busy person you know".  Well I have money to spend on coffee and time to blog and waste on FB don't I?

Then I had kids.  And the world is a much bigger place.  I have more compassion.  I want to do good, even if it is small.  I want to support families, and mothers, and people struggling with illness, and abused animals and children...somehow.  I don't always know how, but everyone has to start somewhere.  When I make a purchase I drop all my change in the box at the register now.  When I am offered to make a donation of a dollar at a store, I say yes instead of no.  I have offered to volunteer with an organization supporting cesarean awareness and VBAC support, something that is important to me.  These are small things in the long run.  I hope they will become bigger things in time.

A dear friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer this year at only 30 years old.  A young mother with young children.  I said I was going to walk to raise money, but I didn't.  I did make several donations towards cancer research which I had never done before.  So I did fail this time when it came to walking, but I didn't forget.  I will make a difference, for her, and for every other person I have loved who has or is battling cancer.  You will not catch me posting one of those cancer statuses on my FB, but you will see me walking for a cure.  I didn't make it this year, but I will make it happen.

FB statuses allow people to feel like they are making a difference when maybe they are not (maybe they are, I don't know what they do when they're not on FB, but I'm sure most of them aren't doing a damn thing since they are always on FB, like me).

If you believe in cancer awareness get out and walk.

If you believe in the humane treatment of animals, get out and volunteer.

If you believe that every child deserves food, clean water, and an education, sponsor a child or donate.

If you believe the environment is worth saving, start living green.

If you believe in any cause at all, then educate others, don't point fingers.

I have a long way to go before I would consider myself a 'good person'.  But I feel like a better person now than I was.  I feel more enlightened.  I feel some things are worth fighting for.

But you won't find me posting any of it on FB.

To my friend, if you get to read this.  You know I love you.  You know I consider you a kind hearted person who always means well.  You know I know you didn't mean to offend me or anyone else.  You have always had strong opinions and I love you for it.  And if anything, your status today was thought provoking and got me thinking about something that has bothered me for some time.  So thank you.