Four

I don't feel much like writing these days, hence why there have been no posts in August.  But I couldn't let the entire month slip by with nothing, so here I am for a quick one.

 

Guess who turned four this week?  FOUR!!  My Big Guy!  Once again I am in disbelief that he is another year older.  Didn't he just turn three?

 

His actual birthday was on Wednesday, but we decided to have his party last weekend.  This is the first year where he has been excited to have a party.  He still wasn't that much into planning it or deciding who to invite, but he was certainly excited there was going to be a party.  He had only one request:  a rainbow birthday cake.

 

I planned a very simple pizza party over lunchtime and invited close family and our good friends.  It still ended up being quite a few people, but it was a lot of fun.  We had about 10 kids and everyone was well behaved and got along.  It was quite nice.

 

I didn't end up making a cake or cupcakes this year as I have just been two busy with two toddlers and a newborn.  In fact just getting ready for the party with three kids underfoot was a huge task.  So instead we just went to Dairy Queen and got an ice cream cake (making sure to ask them to put a rainbow on it!) and some ice cream pizzas.  And Tristan was certainly happy with that!

 

It was a lovely party and Tristan got lots of nice gifts, and thankfully not too many toys.  In fact the ones he did get were all very cool and stuff he liked.  He got a really neat dinosaur excavation kit that he has been very into this week.  It's nice to see him getting into more mature activities.

 

On his birthday on Wednesday Tyler stayed for breakfast and we had a nice family morning.  Then we gave him the gift from us which was a Vtech Innotab, a tablet for kids that you can buy games for and download learning apps.  I also got him his own pair of craft scissors since he loves to cut, and a bunch of craft stuff.  He was thrilled with his own 'computer' and has been very into it ever since.  I can't believe how fast he's got it all figured out!

 

We had a nice day on his birthday.  We went to the Early Years Centre in the morning and in the afternoon went shopping for some back to school stuff for him.  Then friends of ours from out of town came for a quick visit and we went out for dinner.  After dinner Tyler took Tristan fishing for a bit on the pier.  I think he had a great birthday.

 

Four years old!  So hard to believe!  Next week he starts school.  My little boy is not so little any more!

Back At It

Wow how am I finding time for all this blogging with three kids?  I must be neglecting them or something.  Haha, just kidding!  They're all napping, and usually I would be too but it's Saturday and I had other stuff to do.  So now that I'm all showered and caught up on some housework (ok, maybe no so much housework as it's still a mess around here but it's the weekend so that makes it acceptable), I'm sitting down for a few minutes before it's time to get them up and move on to other things.

So pretty much the day after Lily was born I felt like I could run a marathon.  In reality that probably wouldn't have been a good idea, but that's how I felt.  Right away I felt like I wanted to get back into working out.  Of course common sense told me to give myself at least a few weeks for my body to rest, so I tried my best to listen.  I was out and about walking the town early on though, and managed to do a little bit of hooping at home (ohhhh, hooping!  That's what I could be doing now!).

When Lily was 2.5 weeks we went to a Mommy and Baby yoga class hosted by our new naturopath.  It was great and made me realize that I really miss yoga.

Last Wednesday I did my first fitness class since having her, it was the Outdoor Postnatal Bootcamp at the Y.  Tristan went to the farm with Tyler and I took Finn and Lily in the double stroller.  The class was supposed to be 45 minutes but was more like an hour, maybe even more.  It was great, we did lots of walking with breaks to stretch and do intervals of cardio and strength, and we did some jogging too.  I loved it.  I really felt it the next day though. 

Today Tyler braved watching all three kids so I could go to the gym and work out, and I was so thankful for that.  I walked there then did 25 minutes on the elliptical, and probably another 25 on the strength machines, before doing some stretching then walking home.  I wish I could have stayed and done more.  I'm hoping to meet with a wellness coach soon to discuss other machines I can incorporate into my workout now that I'm not pregnant.  I was limited with what I could do while pregnant but now I feel like sky's the limit!

I'm really excited to get back into exercise though I know I will have to start slow, mostly because I don't want to be putting the kids in childminding too much and I don't want to leave Lily too often either.  But I'm hoping to manage at least 3 workouts a week, the postnatal bootcamp one, a weekend trip to the gym, and hopefully a spin class as well to help lose the leftover baby weight. 

Now that I'm not pregnant I'm ready to pick up where I left off on my getting in shape crusade!  In the fall I'd like to take the learn to run 5k class at the Y and hopefully get into running.  I'd also like to start going to power yoga on Tuesday evenings again.  Hopefully soon Lily will be going to bed easily before then so I can go.  There's just so much I want to do!

I have so many fitness goals for the next year.  In addition to learning to run 5k, I plan on doing the Y Ride again, this time riding for 3 hours instead of just 1.  But my big goal for next year is to participate in Met Con Blue Mountain Race.  Never before would I have thought I'd want to do such a thing but now my goal is to train for it.  There is one in September of this year but I know that would be too soon after having Lily, so I'm planning to train for next year's.

If you had asked me 10 or even just 5 years ago what I did for fitness, I would have laughed at you.  Me at the gym?  Ha!  Now I can't imagine my life without it.  I know now how important it is to stay fit and active, and I can't believe how many years of my life I wasted being a potato.  If I could get to the gym every day I would.  Right now with 3 small children that's not realistic, and I know they come first, but as they get older I hope to find more time for the fitness activities that I love.

And of course how can I forget hooping!  I'll be starting that back up again soon too.  I need to find some pro hoopers in town to give me a few lessons so I can get back on track.

Regular exercise makes me feel great.  The goal of looking good is only a part of it, though it is a bonus.  The real benefits are what it does for the mind and the spirit, not just the body.  Since I have started exercising I have definitely noticed I have more energy and am able to cope with stress better.  It's win win, how can anyone not exercise?

So Lily is only 4 weeks old and I'm already getting back into the swing of things.  It took me almost a year after having both boys to do anything even remotely active, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days!

Hey, I might even have some time for some hooping before the kids wake up!

The Differences Between Children

Ok so here is how it goes:

Baby number one.  I didn't read much to prepare for when Tristan was born, I just kind of figured I'd wing it.  That's how I roll!  A neighbour gave me a copy of the Sears' Baby Book after he was born and I read about attachment parenting and thought great, I could do this!  So we just kind of went along with things.  It was pretty relaxed, and Tristan was a pretty relaxed baby.  He didn't cry much, would fall asleep just about anywhere.  We'd spend our days lounging around on the couch cuddling or napping together in bed.  There was never a rush to do anything and we never had much to do.  It was quite lovely, and I very much enjoyed his newborn days.  By a month he was sleeping decently at night, even doing longer stretches.  We didn't have much of a routine. 

But then when he was about 4 months old he started waking all.night.long.  It was awful.  Lucky for him he was still incredibly happy and sweet during the day.  But we were tired all the time, and it was hard.  So I started buying books.  I bought the No Cry Sleep Solution (didn't really like it).  I bought How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, the controversial Ferber book (had some interesting sleep info but controlled crying methods we not for me).  Then I bought The Baby Whisperer Solves Your Problems and finally found a method I thought I could work with.  It had the compassion and respect for babies that attachment parenting preached, without sacrificing the parent to baby's every whim.  So we started working with the Baby Whisperer methods and I did become a little obsessed with Tristan's routine, but it worked and we saw great results.  I was very happy to have discovered the book as it was the most helpful one that I have found to date.

So of course feeling all smug that I had 'created' a baby who was happy on a good routine and slept well, I figured I knew all the secrets and that I'd get it right from the start when we had our second baby.

Baby number two.  Ok, mistake number one is setting expectations too high.  Convinced that I would have another happy easy going baby, and that I knew all the tricks to making babies sleep, I was certain that our second baby would be a champion sleeper right from the start.  WRONG!  First of all, my babies don't sleep well as newborns, or much before a year for that matter.  That is just how they are.  I still didn't know that when Finn was born though, and was so hopeful that he would be sleeping better than Tristan earlier on.  I couldn't be more wrong.

Now, in Finn's defense we went through a major upheaval after he was born when we moved here, and I'm sure that the stress that I went through those first months and even that first year rubbed off on him.  Babies are intuitive, they feel everything.  So while he was a fussy baby by nature, I'm certain it was made worse by the fact that we went through some very rough times.  Then there was the reflux issue.  Finn really did seem like he was in pain and we figured he had reflux.  Once he was medicated for it he seemed to be much happier, but it was still a frustrating situation.  Reflux, colic, call it what you want but that baby cried a lot.  And didn't sleep. 

But I was so focused on wanting to get him on a good routine early and avoid creating accidental parenting or prop issues.  I drove myself crazy trying to 'do things right', and trying to teach independent sleep right from the start when clearly he wasn't ready.  In the end he ended up spending most of the time strapped to my chest while I attempted to get through life with a toddler.  I constantly felt like I was in a whirlwind of craziness, trying to keep him happy but all the while obsessing about routines and sleep.  It was not fun.

You know what though?  Even while I was driving myself nuts things were coming together.  Routines happen whether you try to enforce them or not, especially when you already have an older child on a routine.  Before I knew it Finn was on a routine, and I didn't even need to try so hard.  And you know what else?  It happened earlier than it did with Tristan, and in the end he became a better sleeper as a result.  Without even knowing it I got him napping well in the afternoon and going down easily on his own at night.  And while it took Finn far longer to actually sleep through the night than it did with Tristan, I think he developed better sleep habits earlier and he is still the better sleeper.  In fact, he is an amazing sleeper.

So that brings us to baby number three, and now we come full circle.  What is the difference this time?  I have two other experiences to draw from.  So what was the first step?  LOWERED EXPECTATIONS.  I made sure not to set myself up for disappointment me this time.  Step two?  Relax and let go.  Go back to attachment parenting a bit.  With two older siblings this baby has to go with the flow, so I best forget about worrying about naps in cribs, independent sleep, and all that stuff.  I mean, do I really have time to spend shh/patting Lily to sleep at every nap and bedtime?

I know from my experiences with the boys we'll get there in the end.  Right now Lily naps on the go.  She naps in the carseat, she naps in the baby carrier.  She does not fall asleep easily, the only way I can get her to sleep right now most of the time is to walk around with her in the baby carrier.  Do I worry that I am creating a prop?  Nope.  Maybe I am, but I know that I have the tools to deal with that later.  She is only 4 weeks old right now, and I have to do what I have to do to take care of all members of my family.  So she needs to sleep, and the boys need their care too, so she can sleep in the carrier while I take care of them.  Right now that means when it's time to put her down for her afternoon nap or at bedtime, I have to put her in the carrier and walk her around.  Not ideal I know, but it's fine.  It's totally, 100% fine.  So where as with Finn I would have been stressed about the repercussions of doing this, now I am totally ok with it.

It's fascinating to me to see how my attitude has changed with each child and each experience.  And also how different the situations are.  With my second child, I only had my first very easy one to compare to, and so when he ended up being colicky and fussy I was crushed.  It felt like the end of the world.  I expected it to be easy again.  In retrospect, how could it be?  When you have one baby you can cater to their every need, when you have two your attention has to be divided.  I am noticing that with Lily now as well, even though she is fairly easy going, she has to be schlepped around all over the place which I'm sure makes her more fussy than she might be if she were an only child and I could sit on the couch and hold her all day.  That is just how it is, and I know that now.

I feel bad for thinking so poorly of Finn as a baby.  My expectations for him were so high.  I was hard on him, and I was hard on myself.  Interestingly, I think Lily may be almost as fussy as he was.  Maybe not quite as bad, but she can be pretty fussy.  And she is certainly a lousy sleeper like both the boys were.  But my attitude is different.  I now know that's how babies are.  And maybe instead of labelling Finn refluxy, colicky, or fussy I should have just known that's how newborns act instead of always looking for a 'solution' to the 'problem'.  When Lily fusses I just put her in the carrier and carry on.  That was she can always be with me, and I can always keep doing what needs to be done.  She may or may not be as fussy as Finn, but I am certainly coping much better.

I wished so much of Finn's infancy away, not being able to wait until he was 'older' and 'less fussy', and hoping he would settle at 3/6/9 months etc.  I kept thinking "In one more month he'll be happier", instead of enjoying him as a newborn.  I've definitely not wanted to make the same mistakes again with Lily who will be my last baby.  When she is crying or things are difficult, and I find myself wishing for when she is older, I quickly ignore those thoughts.  Because with two boys who are already two and almost four years old, I know all too well how quickly the time goes.  She is already 4 weeks old.  And I am enjoying every single minute.

So for now, I carry her around everywhere and I do what it takes to make her happy without worrying about creating bad habits.  She sleeps in my bed and when we're all ready I know she'll be able to transition to her own crib, even if it takes a little bit of work.  Mostly I'm just trying to live in the moment and not worry about anything else.

I feel like I've come full circle back to more of an attachment parenting style.  Though I really don't like to think of it as the 'Sears' style, or the 'Ferber' style, or the 'Baby Whisperer' style of parenting, I'd rather think of it as 'My Style'.

I need to go to meetings.....

....for addiction to cute baby clothes, accessories and cloth diapers.

I have only bought ONE item for Lily so far (a cute little top from Walmart, I couldn't resist buying SOMETHING), but she already has an entire closet full of adorable clothes that will probably last her a year or more.  Lucky for us pretty much all my friends have little girls so have generously given us boxes and bags full of clothes.  I could just stare at all the pink girly stuff all day.  I've spent time arranging and rearranging her wardrobe.  When I have a spare minute and am walking by, I stop to go look at her clothes.  Yesterday I went through them an organized them all by size.  I can't wait until she can wear everything, though there is so much that she might never wear some things!

It's really a different game having a little girl compared to having little boys.  The boys stuff was definitely cute, but I never wanted to go out and buy lots of it, or dress them up in it.  With them it's always been more about function and comfort rather than looking cute.  With Lily I just want to go out and buy her all the cute dresses I can find.  I love putting her in little dresses.  She already has some really amazing ones waiting for her.  Tyler's aunt in California sent us a box of stunning dresses, I can't wait until they fit her.

A few weeks ago I ordered her first cloth diapers.  I was really excited to get the chance to do cloth from the start, since I didn't do it with Tristan and only started with Finn when he was 10 months old.  For months I have had my diapers picked out, I was just waiting for her to arrive to have the chance to get them.  She looks so cute in her little cloth diaper bum with all the cute prints.  It's fun co-ordinating her diapers with her outfits.  I don't know why anyone wouldn't use cloth!  But unfortunately I couldn't get as many as I need so I'm barely making it day to day with the ones we have before I have to wash them again, which is kind of frustrating.  I need to get some more, hopefully soon.  I already have them picked out!

Another thing I really want to get for her is leg warmers.  I've always thought they were so cute and wanted to get some for my baby, but they always seemed like more of a girl thing (though I know they make them for boys too).  They look so cute and are great for cooler weather to keep baby's legs warm and still make diaper changes easy because you don't have to take off pants or tights.  Plus they are super adorable with cloth diapers!

Lily also needs some more hair accessories.  I finally got two cute hair bands from Tyler's aunt that look so adorable on her.  I would love to get some more hair bands but also some little baby clips for her hair.  I have been looking for them but haven't been able to find any so far.

I wish I had more money to spend on cute stuff for her!  And of course now that I want to buy her all this cute stuff, I want to buy some more for the boys too.  Go figure!

It's funny because I don't consider myself a particularly fashionable person and really couldn't care less about clothes or accessories for myself.  I never buy myself new clothes and when I do they are usually boring and cheap.  But I wish I could go nuts on a shopping spree for my kids.

I need to stop looking a cute baby stuff online or else I really will need to start going to meetings for baby stuff addiction!

Life with 3

It's busy.  When you add another child to a family, it's not twice the amount of work, it's more like triple or quadruple the amount.  The work load increases significantly with every new addition.  Often there is really no spare time, it's always go go go.

With that said, the transition to having 3 kids has been far easier and way less overwhelming than I anticipated.  When both my older children were born I remember feeling very overwhelmed and unable to tackle simple tasks without my head wanting to explode.  The thought of leaving the house with them was very scary.  I couldn't manage to keep up with the housework or the cooking while my boys were tiny babies.  I think Finn was probably about 9 months old before I felt I could keep the house clean and cook meals for the family on my own!

I anticipated much the same this time around and was not looking forward to the feeling of being hopelessly helpless around the house while the mess accumulated, but it hasn't been like that at all.  We really haven't stopped for much of anything since Lily has been born, rather we have just carried on as usual.  We go to all our usual outings, and I've been able to keep up with my housework and laundry without much backlog.  Between Tyler and I we've been able to keep up with home cooked meals just like before she was born.  Good thing too, because we really hadn't prepared by making freezer meals ahead of time!

It helps a lot that Tyler's job right now is quite flexible so he can be around when I need him.  Some mornings he helps before he leaves to work, and he comes home for lunch most days.  He is also home early enough to help make dinner which is a big help.  We make a good team when it comes to getting stuff done around the house.

The boys are a handful but still relatively easy compared to most other kids their ages I think!  They are loud and hyper most of the time, but fairly independent which makes it easy to take care of all three kids because they are not constantly needing me to do things for them.  Tristan can be a really big help when he wants to, and actually has been since Lily has been born.  He can get snacks and drinks for him and Finn, and he can help Finn put his shoes on to go outside.  He can dress himself now with minimal help and take himself to the bathroom.  All that stuff makes a huge difference.

Lily has been a relatively easy-going and adaptable baby.  She is starting to become a bit of a fussy-pants and I think she might be following in Finn's footsteps as a fussy baby, but since there is no time to slow down she just has to tag along for the ride.  For the most part though I can just put her in the baby carrier which calms her right down and we can go anywhere like that.  As the third child I suspect she has no choice but to just go with the flow!

So we are keeping up just fine around here.  Our days are pretty much the same as they were before, only now it just takes a little extra time to get anything done or get out the door, but it's all good.

Lily

Lily has arrived!

Obviously I have so much to share in this post.  I have been thinking about it all week and putting it off all week because I know there's a lot to write but I think it goes without saying I've been a little bit busy as a new mom of 3.  Still, I don't want to let it get too far away from me before I share the big news that we are now a family of 5.

Lily Elizabeth is one week old already.  How did that happen?  I am already wishing she would stop growing up.  She's already chubbier than she was just a few days ago and I can see time going by so fast.  When I stop to really think about it, I still can't believe that she is actually here.

But she is!

I hadn't really thought that the baby would come early since I went all the way to 40 weeks with my last pregnancy, but then towards the end of last week I was starting to wonder if maybe we were going to meet the little one soon.  Life was going on as usual and I was keeping busy with the boys.  Can't say I felt any obvious signs that labour was imminent, but I was getting a niggle that maybe within a week we'd meet our new addition.  On Thursday I managed to get to the gym one last time.

My boys were both born on Fridays.  I had always thought that it would be cool if this baby were born on a Friday too, and then I would have 3 Friday babies (and 3 first birthday parties that would fall on Saturdays!).  Well, on Friday morning I woke like it was any other day.  Didn't think anything was amiss.  I would never have believed it if someone had said that was the day our baby girl would be born.  Good thing I had spent that whole week getting all the things we would need for our planned homebirth.  I think the only thing missing was a pack of newborn diapers.

The labour with Lily was, for the better part of the day, exactly the same as it had been with Finn.  I started feeling contractions around the same time in the morning, and I remember having the same feeling all day trying to figure out if they were going anywhere.  They were consistent for the entire day, mild and short, and coming anywhere between 5-10 minutes but not stopping.  This is where I got confused with both of my labours, because the time of the contractions never becomes consistent for me until the very end.  But then again that's why you can't judge a labour by a textbook, they are all different and it doesn't always go the way 'they' say it should. 

We did some usual stuff.  Took the boys to gymnastics in the morning, then had lunch, then they went down for a nap and I relaxed and tried to get a sense of what was going on.  Still nothing really seemed obvious.  After the boys were up from their nap I was noticing the contractions more and wanted to stay home, but I had planned to drive to Wasaga Beach to drop some maternity and baby stuff off at a consignment store so I decided to still go ahead with that.  Yes, I was selling pretty much all my maternity clothes before the baby had even been born.  I didn't ever want to wear them again.

The contractions were getting a bit more annoying especially when I was driving.  Since I was still confused as to whether or not to call the midwife, I actually stopped by the clinic on the way home as I was driving by it anyway, just to ask what they thought.  The last time I was waiting for a distinct pattern that didn't happen until the very end of labour, and almost called too late.  I was paranoid about doing the same thing, but at the same time didn't want to call if I wasn't actually in established labour.  Lynne-Marie said there was no harm in paging the midwife on call, Ilse, just to have a chat, so I decided that when I got home that is what I would do.

It was about 4:45 when we got home and I wandered around feeling a bit confused.  In hindsight this was silly as I was very obviously in labour, but just like last time because I wasn't actually in pain I felt like it wasn't really happening.  Silly really, it should have been obvious at that point that things weren't going to slow or stop.  The contractions were still coming and getting stronger, though not particularly long.  It was enough to make me feel a bit scatterbrained though.  The boys were in the yard and I finally paged Ilse and spoke to her at about 5:15.  I told her I wasn't sure what was going on, and she asked if I wanted her to come by.  I needed to figure out what to do with the boys so I said I would call her back after dinner.  I called Tyler and urged him to come home.  I couldn't focus enough to start dinner, and he told me to sit down and he'd pick something up.  When I'd have a contraction I'd want to sit, but as soon as it was over I was restless and needed to get up and do stuff.  I was pretty sure at that point that we'd be sending the kids over to Tyler's parents for the night, so I packed some stuff for them. 

It felt like it took Tyler forever to get home.  I really wanted him home, but I had to send him on a few errands to pick up the last few things we needed.  Then I realized we'd need a pack n play for Finn to stay in at John and Laurie's, so I quickly asked my friends if one of them had one for us to borrow and then sent Tyler over to Corrina's to get it.  By the time he picked up all the stuff and then dinner and got home, it was 6:30 and I really wanted the kids out of the house so I could focus.  Tyler rushed them through dinner, but I didn't feel like eating.  Just sat on the couch breathing through each contraction, which were getting more intense but I was still managing.  I paged Ilse again and spoke to her at about 6:45, and she said she'd be there in about 10 minutes.

Around the same time Tyler hurried the kids out the door and over to their grandparent's house around the corner.  I felt guilty sending them away so quickly without any explaination.  Even though we were planning a homebirth, we didn't really figure out what we were going to do with the kids.  I guess I figured if I had the baby during the day they'd be at their grandparent's but then come home, and if I had it during the night they would just sleep through it.  With the timing of it they had to go stay overnight, but I hadn't prepared them for it at all.  Tristan had only ever spent one night away from me and he was with Tyler anyway, and Finn had never been away from me.  It made me nervous, but I knew they'd all have to deal with it (kids and grandparents!).  But much to our surprise they had no problems staying there.

Ilse arrived at 7 and Tyler shortly after.  When she checked me she announced I was pretty much fully dilated and said the baby would be there in 20-30 minutes.  No time to set up the pool we had borrowed for a water birth.  No time to administer the antibiotics I was supposed to get because I was group B strep positive.  No time for the secondary midwife to get there.  The midwife and Tyler quickly set up the living room for the birth, and I got down on the floor to avoid lying on the couch to have the baby.  One contraction and my water broke, another and the baby was born.

To say we were excited to find out that we had a baby girl was an understatement.  Probably the best moment ever, especially because this time around we had been patient and waited the whole pregnancy to find out.  It was so very exciting.  The rest of the birth went so smoothly, and I was up on the couch cuddling her long before the second midwife even walked through the door.

Ahhh the beauty of a homebirth.  Tyler and I just sat on the couch for a good hour and a half with our new baby while the midwives cleaned up and did the paperwork.  It was so quiet and peaceful.  No nurses, no bright lights, no being asked when we were ready to go home.  We were already home, it was brilliant.  I was able to breastfeed easily right away, and Lily was so quiet and content right from the get go.  She didn't even cry when she was born.  Pretty much the perfect birth and the perfect baby.

She weighed 7 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long.  She was, according to the midwife's files, 2.5 weeks early (but according to me, 2 weeks early).  But Lynne-Marie said that we may have been farther along than I thought since Lily was a good size and had the appearance of a fully-term baby.  I guess when I had those ultrasounds and they pushed my due date a week earlier, they may have been right!

Ilse and Lynne-Marie were amazing midwives and once again I am so happy I used midwives instead of doctors.  The care throughout my entire pregnancy and birth was just amazing, and it continues to be with them coming to see us at home.

So that was the labour and birth, something I hadn't planned on getting much into but then if you know me then you know once I get started talking about labour and birth I can't stop.  What can I say, it doesn't get any better than that!

And what about this past week?  Pretty much heaven.  Lily has been an absolute dream and I think all of us, including the kids, are just so thrilled to have her.

I couldn't wait for the boys to get home on Saturday to meet her.  When they finally did it was so amazing.  Tristan seemed a bit nervous at first, but only for a minute.  He just lingered back and stared at her.  I was worried Finn would be put off but I was pleasantly suprised when he walked right up to us with the world's biggest grin on his face.  Then as soon as Tristan saw Finn get close he came up too, and next thing I knew they were crawling all over me trying to get close to the baby.  They have been that way ever since, always wanting to hug and hold and kiss her.  Tristan has told me so many times how happy he is that Lily is here.  He looks for her first thing in the morning, and asks to hold her all the time.  Finn always asks where she is too, and he loves holding her as well.

Of course there has been some acting out from both of them throughout the week, not towards Lily in any way but more to get attention.  Tristan especially seems to be a bit of a handful, but to be honest we were expecting some behaviour changes so we are handling it fine, as frustrating as it is.  We know that it's only natural that the boys might act this way with the addition of a new baby to the family.  So we've been trying to make as much time for them as we can and make sure they are still getting to do some of their activities, so they don't feel their lives are on hold because of the baby.  We've taken to them to the early years centre and on walks.  Tyler has taken them to the farm with him.  Today Tyler took Finn out for lunch, just the two of them, and then in the afternoon took Tristan to his first ever movie at the theatre.  I have to make sure I spend time with each of them too.  The nice thing is that Tyler has been able to help out with Lily a lot, so I can still do some of the things for the boys that I did before, like read them stories and put them down for naps and bedtime.  I don't want them to feel like I only spend time with the baby.

As for Lily, she has been an absolute angel.  Hardly a peep out of her.  She eats and she sleeps.  When she is awake, she just looks around.  If she cries it's easy to figure out what she wants.  Her cues are very easy to read.  She is breastfeeding fabulously and is growing and is healthy.  Even nights have been fine with her.  She sleeps in my bed and I feed her when she's hungry, but essentially she sleeps all night long.  No long periods of wakefulness or fussing.  I feel like I'm getting more than enough sleep and haven't been tired at all.  Every day this week everyone in the house has slept in past 7:30 which is just amazing.

It's so exciting to have some pink in the house.  My friend Hillary gave me a huge bag of girl's clothes from her daughter and I'm pretty sure Lily has a full wardrobe for at least a year.  Of course that hasn't stopped me from wanting more!  What is it about little girls that you just want to go out and buy all the cutest stuff for them?  I can't wait to get her some clips and headbands for her gorgeous hair.

She is the most beautiful baby ever, so perfect.  She's got lots of hair, but not too much, and it's a really cool colour.  For the most part it is dark, but has blonde streaks in it too.  I already know she is always going to be a gorgeous girl.

And me, I feel like a million bucks.  I don't know how Lily got here because I don't feel like I gave birth to her.  The birth was so effortless and so easy that it caused no trauma to my body whatsoever, which is a huge difference from my last birth where I endured tearing and repairs that left me uncomfortable for weeks afterwards.  I have been out walking, and have basically been able to keep up with everything around the house.  I haven't slowed down one bit.  In fact I have found myself wondering if I could go to the gym soon, but my reasonable side keeps telling me to give myself a few weeks, if for nothing else just to relax.

I am curious to know though what the scales say, because I'm pretty sure I could fit into all my larger pre-pregnancy clothes (ok, maybe not the super skinny jeans yet, but soon enough!).  Good thing I don't need all those mat clothes I just sold!  I'm already back into normal pants.  I guess staying active during pregnancy really does pay off!

Tyler has been the most amazing husband ever.  This is the first baby where he has taken a proper amount of time off work, and he has been so helpful with everything.  We've made a really good team.  But amazingly I've felt ok most of the time handling 3 kids that he's been able to putter around and go to the farm a bit, and do other little errands.  Don't get me wrong, things are SO much easier with him around, but Lily is SO easy that I have feel able to take care of the boys' needs as well.  That is such a good feeling.

So my house is not a disaster, my laundry is not piling up, my kids are clothed and fed, we're all well rested, I've managed to shower just about every day, and Lily is only a week old.  What kind of weird universe is this?

I don't kid myself that it will always be this easy.  Newborns are pretty sleepy, and even Finn my fussy baby didn't get fussy until closer to a month old so know this could all change on me overnight.  But for now, I am enjoying it, before the inevitable chaos hits.

With my first baby I had no clue and was just very go with the flow, and then when things got tough around 4 months I looked to books to help me figure it all out.  Then I got really into certain styles and routines, which worked so well for us then.  So of course with my second baby I thought I had it all figured out to do it right from the start, I would get him right into a routine and he would sleep better than Tristan did.  But Finn had other plans and all I really did was stress myself out trying to do things against how he really was.  I was so worried about his routine and not creating bad habits.  This time is so much better, and I'm just enjoying it for now and going with the flow, with the knowledge that when the time comes I will have the tools to get us onto a good routine and get her sleeping well.  Chances are if she is anything like her brothers sleep will not be great for the first year, but I know from experience that we get there in the end.

You know, I still can't believe we have a girl.  I can't believe we have two boys and a girl.  When I was pregnant with Finn and was going to find out what he was, I remember thinking that it would be amazing if we had a second boy so that Tristan could have a brother, and then later on have a little girl.  Of course at that time I couldn't have made it happen like that.  So to know that we did try for another baby and got our girl makes me feel so lucky.  To me it's the perfect family, two big brothers to take care of their little sister.  Yes, of course I would have absolutely loved another boy, babies are a blessing no matter what.  But the fact that we did have a girl is just very exciting.

So I had a million and one things that I have wanted to write about from this past week since Lily has been born, and although it feels like I have written about a million and one things I'm fairly certain there is a million and one more things I have missed.  At any given point during the day I want to record something that I have thought, or felt, or something that has happened.  I'm sure I've forgotten a lot of things, but hopefully at some point will remember to write them down somewhere.

This was my last pregnancy, we are fairly certain of that now.  I had such a fabulous experience with this pregnancy and birth, but in so many ways I am ready to move on.  Plus, while you always forget how horrible contractions are after the baby is born, the truth is they are horrible and I would be happy to never feel one again.  I will always love being pregnant, and I will always sort of wish I could do it 'one more time'.  This pregnancy was the most amazing one even though they all were great.  And it ended with an amazing birth and an amazing baby.  What more can someone ask for.

I consider all my births positive experiences.  I also consider myself very unique in that I have experienced 3 very different types of births.  Tristan's was a planned c-section because he was breech, and it went as amazing as a c-section could go with no complications.  My recovery was great and I felt great.  With Finn I had an unmedicated hospital VBAC, and although the recovery was rough the labour itself was smooth and I was so happy I was able to accomplish my goal of having a VBAC.  And finally with Lily, to end it all off with the most positive birth experience of all, my wonderful home birth.  I'm very proud to say I trusted birth and my body and had an HBAC, and I'm so happy that my husband although skeptical of the homebirth at first, trusted my instincts as well.

Well, without further ado, I better add some pics.  I so wish I had a better camera and was a better photographer, but as long as I'm remembering to take them that's all that matters.

Just arrived

Daddy's girl

Gorgeous

Proud biggest brother

Proud big brother

Mommy snuggles

Mommy of 3!

Peek a boo!

Sleeping beauty

Big Changes a-Brewin'

It is about 1 month until baby is due to arrive.  And we haven't done much of anything to prepare.

Until today that is.

The plan was that on the weekend we would pick up the bed my dad was giving us for the boys' new room, and then we would spend all of next weekend basically rearranging the entire upstairs and putting them in their new room.  Together.  Gulp.

But then Tyler decided we should bust our butts to get everything rearranged before the weekend so we can spend it working in the vegetable garden (he doesn't get to spend time in there during the week since he's so busy with the hops, and there is only so much I can do on my own, and we still have a ton of seeds to sow and other stuff to be done).  Ok, I was up for the challenge!

So tonight we initiated phase one of operation Get House Baby Ready.  Probably not the best plan to try and do this kind of stuff in the small window between dinner and bedtime, especially when one child did not nap today, but we felt motivated to try anyway. 

Every piece of furniture in 3 out of our 4 bedrooms needed to be moved around, and my husband had to pretty much do it all with an 8 month pregnant wife and two nosey kids underfoot.  Two beds had to be moved to different rooms, 1 bed had to be repositioned in one room, and another bed had to be assembled.  Two dressers needed to be swapped.  Just general chaos altogether. 

Keeping the kids out of the way was pretty much impossible.  I was able to keep Finn downstairs for most of it, but Tristan always insists on being Daddy's helper and just wouldn't come down.  Of course when Finn did want to go upstairs and we wouldn't let him because it was too crowded and dangerous, he had mega tantrums.  Tristan was overtired from not napping so was hyper active but also prone to meltdowns easily.

What a mess!

But we got all the furniture moved, which is the hardest part.  Next I have to swap all the clothes so that everyone's stuff is in the right rooms.  And I have to clean everything because of course there was so much dust hiding behind all the furniture that was moved.

The only room that wasn't changed was Finn's room, which will remain the nursery once the baby is born.  I had thought we would try to squeeze his crib into the boys' room while they adjust to sleeping in the same room, but a small crazy part of me is thinking of just attempting the transition to a big boy bed at the same time.  I don't know how well that would go over. 

It is exciting though to have them moving to the same room soon.  I think once they get over the initial transition of room sharing they will really enjoy it.  The plan is to give the 'new' bed to Tristan and have Finn take Tristan's old big boy bed, but the new bed still isn't ready yet and so Tristan went to bed in his original bed and I'm not sure if he will want to give it up.  I guess we'll see what happens!  Tristan was really excited to sleep in the new room tonight though, so I think that is a good start.

Moving everything was such a pain but it's exciting at the same time.  Even though I've got some work ahead of me with moving and organizing the clothes, I'm looking forward to it.  I love rearranging furniture, it feels like everything is 'new'.

So I guess this is really it then, getting everything ready for baby.  Can't believe it's almost that time!