Reading

I've actually had lots of stuff I've wanted to write about lately.  What I haven't had is lots of time.  And what little left over time I do have these days has gone to my new hobby.  Or should I say my newly rediscovered hobby:  Reading.

 

Once upon a time I enjoyed reading and read quite a bit.  Especially throughout my young adult years.  I wouldn't say I'm anything of a literary snob, mostly I enjoyed fiction and a good story.  Things that were easy to read, and entertaining.  Nevertheless, I read, and I often read a lot.  But not so much since having kids.  Aside from pregnancy, baby and parenting books, I think I've only read maybe one other book since becoming a mom.  Shameful!

 

I hadn't really cared though that I never read anymore.  That is until all my friends starting discussing all the books they were reading and I had nothing to say during the conversation.  So I figured I better get reading again.

 

In the past month I've read 4 books and am a good way into the 5th.  I started off with the Hunger Games Trilogy, which I knew I would like.  It was an easy read and a fast paced story, two things that I really like.  So it took me exactly 3 weeks to read all three books.  Of course I loved them.  Not exactly what one might consider great literature, but definitely a gripping saga.

 

My friend H reads a lot so while she didn't think much of the Hunger Games, she did recommend a book for me based on the fact that I like that sort of science fiction stuff.  The next book I read was Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood.  Definitely better literature than the Hunger Games (which I still liked better by the way), and a great read as well.  It had that similar disturbing post-apocalyptic feel with much better writing.  I finished that book in only a week as well.

 

Now I'm onto the Kitchen House, by Kathleen Grissom which has come highly recommended by all of my friends.  I've heard it's sad, which I'm not too keen on.  But so far it's really good.  I'm not sure exactly what to think of it.  I'm really into the story so far, but I don't know if it's my type of book.  I have a feeling it will be disturbing to me in other ways.  My friend C has described many of the books H recommends as intense, and I can see how this one would be considered that.  I have a feeling it will only take a week to finish this one off as well.

 

We're trying to establish a book club amongst the 5 of us, but so far have yet to all read the same book to discuss.  Once I finish the Kitchen House we'll all have read that one, and once S finishes the Hunger Games we'll all have read those as well, and then we'll have stuff to talk about.  After that point we've decided we have to get more organized and pick one book a month we can all read.

 

While initially I only started reading again to be included back in the conversation, I'm now happy that I have for my own sake.  I had totally forgotten what it's like to be so engrossed in a book that I'll sneak in any time I can to read it.  Which means that blogging gets pushed aside.  Oh well, it can wait!

The Big 3-0 (But not mine!)

Nope, not me.  I crossed that bridge in September last year.  It wasn't terribly exciting, much to my disappointment.  But Tyler made sure to make up for it with some fancy jewellery and a mini shopping spree, so I got over it.

 

This time it was his turn, and I spent a lot of the year wondering what I was going to do for such a big event.  At first I figured a party was out of the question, since I hate planning parties and everyone I would have invited was from out of town.  It's never a good idea to rely on your whole guest list to drive in from hours away.  But as the time got closer and we started to become good friends with other couples in town, I figured that there would be no harm in throwing him a surprise party. 

 

Over the summer we have started hanging out with our new friends more as couples, which has proven to be a lot of fun.  We've got a nice little group going with a good mix of people.  Some of the husbands have even started hanging out for 'guys nights' and going on what I like to joke are called 'man-dates'.  Having these new friends gave me the confidence to throw a party, knowing that there would be people who would show up.

 

I'm not a huge fan of playing hostess.  I'm usually self-conscious about the state of my house or the fact that I don't have any fancy stuff for hosting parties.  But this time I tried to push all that aside, reminding myself that people come over to see us and not our house or our stuff.

 

Of course it was stressful trying to plan and prepare for a party with 3 kids to deal with, especially when trying to keep it a secret.  My plans for the boys were up in the air because my mother in law was supposed to take them for the night but had warned me that she may have to leave to go to California at any moment because her mother was not well, so that meant I had no idea if they would be gone or if I'd have to deal with them at home.  Lily was of course going to stay here and I was counting on her sleeping well for the first half of the night as she usually does, but in the back of my mind I was always worried she's had a bad night and be waking all evening.

 

Add to that stress the fact that I seemed to catch some kind of tummy bug in the week before the party, and it was not exactly a stress-free week for me.

 

But everything came together in the end.  My awesome friends helped out by bringing some food and drinks.  My brother and his girlfriend came up before the party to help get ready and keep Tyler out of the way.  Laurie didn't have to run off to California which meant I was able to drop the boys off at her house for the night.

 

So what I told Tyler was that I planned for him and Mike to go fishing for the evening while I took care of the kids and put them to bed, to give him a night off from that stuff.  Then Mike and Renee would babysit them so we could go out for a nice dinner.  It took me ages to come up with a plan to tell him so that he wouldn't be suspicious, but it was the perfect one.

 

I sent him off fishing, packed the boys up and took them to their grandparents, put Lily to bed, then finished the preparations with Renee's help.  Our friends all showed up and hung out while we waited for his return.  They were such good sports, hiding in the dining room to surprise him.

 

And surprised he was!  I must of pulled it off because he seemed to genuinely have no clue what he was walking in to.

 

We had a lovely evening of food and friends, and I was so happy to play hostess for one night.  It's funny because a few of our friends have had us all over for dinner already, and just a few weeks ago Tyler had said to me that we'd have to apologize to everyone for never having them over.  Little did he know that I was secretly planning the next fun evening for all of us.

 

It was nice to surprise Tyler for his big 30th.  Of course we were all in pretty rough shape the next day, but it was totally worth it.

 

Now I have 10 more years before I have to plan another one for him.  And luckily that one will be easier because I'll have a bigger budget, and the kids will be much older and will hopefully be out of the way a bit more!

Four

I don't feel much like writing these days, hence why there have been no posts in August.  But I couldn't let the entire month slip by with nothing, so here I am for a quick one.

 

Guess who turned four this week?  FOUR!!  My Big Guy!  Once again I am in disbelief that he is another year older.  Didn't he just turn three?

 

His actual birthday was on Wednesday, but we decided to have his party last weekend.  This is the first year where he has been excited to have a party.  He still wasn't that much into planning it or deciding who to invite, but he was certainly excited there was going to be a party.  He had only one request:  a rainbow birthday cake.

 

I planned a very simple pizza party over lunchtime and invited close family and our good friends.  It still ended up being quite a few people, but it was a lot of fun.  We had about 10 kids and everyone was well behaved and got along.  It was quite nice.

 

I didn't end up making a cake or cupcakes this year as I have just been two busy with two toddlers and a newborn.  In fact just getting ready for the party with three kids underfoot was a huge task.  So instead we just went to Dairy Queen and got an ice cream cake (making sure to ask them to put a rainbow on it!) and some ice cream pizzas.  And Tristan was certainly happy with that!

 

It was a lovely party and Tristan got lots of nice gifts, and thankfully not too many toys.  In fact the ones he did get were all very cool and stuff he liked.  He got a really neat dinosaur excavation kit that he has been very into this week.  It's nice to see him getting into more mature activities.

 

On his birthday on Wednesday Tyler stayed for breakfast and we had a nice family morning.  Then we gave him the gift from us which was a Vtech Innotab, a tablet for kids that you can buy games for and download learning apps.  I also got him his own pair of craft scissors since he loves to cut, and a bunch of craft stuff.  He was thrilled with his own 'computer' and has been very into it ever since.  I can't believe how fast he's got it all figured out!

 

We had a nice day on his birthday.  We went to the Early Years Centre in the morning and in the afternoon went shopping for some back to school stuff for him.  Then friends of ours from out of town came for a quick visit and we went out for dinner.  After dinner Tyler took Tristan fishing for a bit on the pier.  I think he had a great birthday.

 

Four years old!  So hard to believe!  Next week he starts school.  My little boy is not so little any more!

Back At It

Wow how am I finding time for all this blogging with three kids?  I must be neglecting them or something.  Haha, just kidding!  They're all napping, and usually I would be too but it's Saturday and I had other stuff to do.  So now that I'm all showered and caught up on some housework (ok, maybe no so much housework as it's still a mess around here but it's the weekend so that makes it acceptable), I'm sitting down for a few minutes before it's time to get them up and move on to other things.

So pretty much the day after Lily was born I felt like I could run a marathon.  In reality that probably wouldn't have been a good idea, but that's how I felt.  Right away I felt like I wanted to get back into working out.  Of course common sense told me to give myself at least a few weeks for my body to rest, so I tried my best to listen.  I was out and about walking the town early on though, and managed to do a little bit of hooping at home (ohhhh, hooping!  That's what I could be doing now!).

When Lily was 2.5 weeks we went to a Mommy and Baby yoga class hosted by our new naturopath.  It was great and made me realize that I really miss yoga.

Last Wednesday I did my first fitness class since having her, it was the Outdoor Postnatal Bootcamp at the Y.  Tristan went to the farm with Tyler and I took Finn and Lily in the double stroller.  The class was supposed to be 45 minutes but was more like an hour, maybe even more.  It was great, we did lots of walking with breaks to stretch and do intervals of cardio and strength, and we did some jogging too.  I loved it.  I really felt it the next day though. 

Today Tyler braved watching all three kids so I could go to the gym and work out, and I was so thankful for that.  I walked there then did 25 minutes on the elliptical, and probably another 25 on the strength machines, before doing some stretching then walking home.  I wish I could have stayed and done more.  I'm hoping to meet with a wellness coach soon to discuss other machines I can incorporate into my workout now that I'm not pregnant.  I was limited with what I could do while pregnant but now I feel like sky's the limit!

I'm really excited to get back into exercise though I know I will have to start slow, mostly because I don't want to be putting the kids in childminding too much and I don't want to leave Lily too often either.  But I'm hoping to manage at least 3 workouts a week, the postnatal bootcamp one, a weekend trip to the gym, and hopefully a spin class as well to help lose the leftover baby weight. 

Now that I'm not pregnant I'm ready to pick up where I left off on my getting in shape crusade!  In the fall I'd like to take the learn to run 5k class at the Y and hopefully get into running.  I'd also like to start going to power yoga on Tuesday evenings again.  Hopefully soon Lily will be going to bed easily before then so I can go.  There's just so much I want to do!

I have so many fitness goals for the next year.  In addition to learning to run 5k, I plan on doing the Y Ride again, this time riding for 3 hours instead of just 1.  But my big goal for next year is to participate in Met Con Blue Mountain Race.  Never before would I have thought I'd want to do such a thing but now my goal is to train for it.  There is one in September of this year but I know that would be too soon after having Lily, so I'm planning to train for next year's.

If you had asked me 10 or even just 5 years ago what I did for fitness, I would have laughed at you.  Me at the gym?  Ha!  Now I can't imagine my life without it.  I know now how important it is to stay fit and active, and I can't believe how many years of my life I wasted being a potato.  If I could get to the gym every day I would.  Right now with 3 small children that's not realistic, and I know they come first, but as they get older I hope to find more time for the fitness activities that I love.

And of course how can I forget hooping!  I'll be starting that back up again soon too.  I need to find some pro hoopers in town to give me a few lessons so I can get back on track.

Regular exercise makes me feel great.  The goal of looking good is only a part of it, though it is a bonus.  The real benefits are what it does for the mind and the spirit, not just the body.  Since I have started exercising I have definitely noticed I have more energy and am able to cope with stress better.  It's win win, how can anyone not exercise?

So Lily is only 4 weeks old and I'm already getting back into the swing of things.  It took me almost a year after having both boys to do anything even remotely active, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days!

Hey, I might even have some time for some hooping before the kids wake up!

The Differences Between Children

Ok so here is how it goes:

Baby number one.  I didn't read much to prepare for when Tristan was born, I just kind of figured I'd wing it.  That's how I roll!  A neighbour gave me a copy of the Sears' Baby Book after he was born and I read about attachment parenting and thought great, I could do this!  So we just kind of went along with things.  It was pretty relaxed, and Tristan was a pretty relaxed baby.  He didn't cry much, would fall asleep just about anywhere.  We'd spend our days lounging around on the couch cuddling or napping together in bed.  There was never a rush to do anything and we never had much to do.  It was quite lovely, and I very much enjoyed his newborn days.  By a month he was sleeping decently at night, even doing longer stretches.  We didn't have much of a routine. 

But then when he was about 4 months old he started waking all.night.long.  It was awful.  Lucky for him he was still incredibly happy and sweet during the day.  But we were tired all the time, and it was hard.  So I started buying books.  I bought the No Cry Sleep Solution (didn't really like it).  I bought How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, the controversial Ferber book (had some interesting sleep info but controlled crying methods we not for me).  Then I bought The Baby Whisperer Solves Your Problems and finally found a method I thought I could work with.  It had the compassion and respect for babies that attachment parenting preached, without sacrificing the parent to baby's every whim.  So we started working with the Baby Whisperer methods and I did become a little obsessed with Tristan's routine, but it worked and we saw great results.  I was very happy to have discovered the book as it was the most helpful one that I have found to date.

So of course feeling all smug that I had 'created' a baby who was happy on a good routine and slept well, I figured I knew all the secrets and that I'd get it right from the start when we had our second baby.

Baby number two.  Ok, mistake number one is setting expectations too high.  Convinced that I would have another happy easy going baby, and that I knew all the tricks to making babies sleep, I was certain that our second baby would be a champion sleeper right from the start.  WRONG!  First of all, my babies don't sleep well as newborns, or much before a year for that matter.  That is just how they are.  I still didn't know that when Finn was born though, and was so hopeful that he would be sleeping better than Tristan earlier on.  I couldn't be more wrong.

Now, in Finn's defense we went through a major upheaval after he was born when we moved here, and I'm sure that the stress that I went through those first months and even that first year rubbed off on him.  Babies are intuitive, they feel everything.  So while he was a fussy baby by nature, I'm certain it was made worse by the fact that we went through some very rough times.  Then there was the reflux issue.  Finn really did seem like he was in pain and we figured he had reflux.  Once he was medicated for it he seemed to be much happier, but it was still a frustrating situation.  Reflux, colic, call it what you want but that baby cried a lot.  And didn't sleep. 

But I was so focused on wanting to get him on a good routine early and avoid creating accidental parenting or prop issues.  I drove myself crazy trying to 'do things right', and trying to teach independent sleep right from the start when clearly he wasn't ready.  In the end he ended up spending most of the time strapped to my chest while I attempted to get through life with a toddler.  I constantly felt like I was in a whirlwind of craziness, trying to keep him happy but all the while obsessing about routines and sleep.  It was not fun.

You know what though?  Even while I was driving myself nuts things were coming together.  Routines happen whether you try to enforce them or not, especially when you already have an older child on a routine.  Before I knew it Finn was on a routine, and I didn't even need to try so hard.  And you know what else?  It happened earlier than it did with Tristan, and in the end he became a better sleeper as a result.  Without even knowing it I got him napping well in the afternoon and going down easily on his own at night.  And while it took Finn far longer to actually sleep through the night than it did with Tristan, I think he developed better sleep habits earlier and he is still the better sleeper.  In fact, he is an amazing sleeper.

So that brings us to baby number three, and now we come full circle.  What is the difference this time?  I have two other experiences to draw from.  So what was the first step?  LOWERED EXPECTATIONS.  I made sure not to set myself up for disappointment me this time.  Step two?  Relax and let go.  Go back to attachment parenting a bit.  With two older siblings this baby has to go with the flow, so I best forget about worrying about naps in cribs, independent sleep, and all that stuff.  I mean, do I really have time to spend shh/patting Lily to sleep at every nap and bedtime?

I know from my experiences with the boys we'll get there in the end.  Right now Lily naps on the go.  She naps in the carseat, she naps in the baby carrier.  She does not fall asleep easily, the only way I can get her to sleep right now most of the time is to walk around with her in the baby carrier.  Do I worry that I am creating a prop?  Nope.  Maybe I am, but I know that I have the tools to deal with that later.  She is only 4 weeks old right now, and I have to do what I have to do to take care of all members of my family.  So she needs to sleep, and the boys need their care too, so she can sleep in the carrier while I take care of them.  Right now that means when it's time to put her down for her afternoon nap or at bedtime, I have to put her in the carrier and walk her around.  Not ideal I know, but it's fine.  It's totally, 100% fine.  So where as with Finn I would have been stressed about the repercussions of doing this, now I am totally ok with it.

It's fascinating to me to see how my attitude has changed with each child and each experience.  And also how different the situations are.  With my second child, I only had my first very easy one to compare to, and so when he ended up being colicky and fussy I was crushed.  It felt like the end of the world.  I expected it to be easy again.  In retrospect, how could it be?  When you have one baby you can cater to their every need, when you have two your attention has to be divided.  I am noticing that with Lily now as well, even though she is fairly easy going, she has to be schlepped around all over the place which I'm sure makes her more fussy than she might be if she were an only child and I could sit on the couch and hold her all day.  That is just how it is, and I know that now.

I feel bad for thinking so poorly of Finn as a baby.  My expectations for him were so high.  I was hard on him, and I was hard on myself.  Interestingly, I think Lily may be almost as fussy as he was.  Maybe not quite as bad, but she can be pretty fussy.  And she is certainly a lousy sleeper like both the boys were.  But my attitude is different.  I now know that's how babies are.  And maybe instead of labelling Finn refluxy, colicky, or fussy I should have just known that's how newborns act instead of always looking for a 'solution' to the 'problem'.  When Lily fusses I just put her in the carrier and carry on.  That was she can always be with me, and I can always keep doing what needs to be done.  She may or may not be as fussy as Finn, but I am certainly coping much better.

I wished so much of Finn's infancy away, not being able to wait until he was 'older' and 'less fussy', and hoping he would settle at 3/6/9 months etc.  I kept thinking "In one more month he'll be happier", instead of enjoying him as a newborn.  I've definitely not wanted to make the same mistakes again with Lily who will be my last baby.  When she is crying or things are difficult, and I find myself wishing for when she is older, I quickly ignore those thoughts.  Because with two boys who are already two and almost four years old, I know all too well how quickly the time goes.  She is already 4 weeks old.  And I am enjoying every single minute.

So for now, I carry her around everywhere and I do what it takes to make her happy without worrying about creating bad habits.  She sleeps in my bed and when we're all ready I know she'll be able to transition to her own crib, even if it takes a little bit of work.  Mostly I'm just trying to live in the moment and not worry about anything else.

I feel like I've come full circle back to more of an attachment parenting style.  Though I really don't like to think of it as the 'Sears' style, or the 'Ferber' style, or the 'Baby Whisperer' style of parenting, I'd rather think of it as 'My Style'.

I need to go to meetings.....

....for addiction to cute baby clothes, accessories and cloth diapers.

I have only bought ONE item for Lily so far (a cute little top from Walmart, I couldn't resist buying SOMETHING), but she already has an entire closet full of adorable clothes that will probably last her a year or more.  Lucky for us pretty much all my friends have little girls so have generously given us boxes and bags full of clothes.  I could just stare at all the pink girly stuff all day.  I've spent time arranging and rearranging her wardrobe.  When I have a spare minute and am walking by, I stop to go look at her clothes.  Yesterday I went through them an organized them all by size.  I can't wait until she can wear everything, though there is so much that she might never wear some things!

It's really a different game having a little girl compared to having little boys.  The boys stuff was definitely cute, but I never wanted to go out and buy lots of it, or dress them up in it.  With them it's always been more about function and comfort rather than looking cute.  With Lily I just want to go out and buy her all the cute dresses I can find.  I love putting her in little dresses.  She already has some really amazing ones waiting for her.  Tyler's aunt in California sent us a box of stunning dresses, I can't wait until they fit her.

A few weeks ago I ordered her first cloth diapers.  I was really excited to get the chance to do cloth from the start, since I didn't do it with Tristan and only started with Finn when he was 10 months old.  For months I have had my diapers picked out, I was just waiting for her to arrive to have the chance to get them.  She looks so cute in her little cloth diaper bum with all the cute prints.  It's fun co-ordinating her diapers with her outfits.  I don't know why anyone wouldn't use cloth!  But unfortunately I couldn't get as many as I need so I'm barely making it day to day with the ones we have before I have to wash them again, which is kind of frustrating.  I need to get some more, hopefully soon.  I already have them picked out!

Another thing I really want to get for her is leg warmers.  I've always thought they were so cute and wanted to get some for my baby, but they always seemed like more of a girl thing (though I know they make them for boys too).  They look so cute and are great for cooler weather to keep baby's legs warm and still make diaper changes easy because you don't have to take off pants or tights.  Plus they are super adorable with cloth diapers!

Lily also needs some more hair accessories.  I finally got two cute hair bands from Tyler's aunt that look so adorable on her.  I would love to get some more hair bands but also some little baby clips for her hair.  I have been looking for them but haven't been able to find any so far.

I wish I had more money to spend on cute stuff for her!  And of course now that I want to buy her all this cute stuff, I want to buy some more for the boys too.  Go figure!

It's funny because I don't consider myself a particularly fashionable person and really couldn't care less about clothes or accessories for myself.  I never buy myself new clothes and when I do they are usually boring and cheap.  But I wish I could go nuts on a shopping spree for my kids.

I need to stop looking a cute baby stuff online or else I really will need to start going to meetings for baby stuff addiction!

Life with 3

It's busy.  When you add another child to a family, it's not twice the amount of work, it's more like triple or quadruple the amount.  The work load increases significantly with every new addition.  Often there is really no spare time, it's always go go go.

With that said, the transition to having 3 kids has been far easier and way less overwhelming than I anticipated.  When both my older children were born I remember feeling very overwhelmed and unable to tackle simple tasks without my head wanting to explode.  The thought of leaving the house with them was very scary.  I couldn't manage to keep up with the housework or the cooking while my boys were tiny babies.  I think Finn was probably about 9 months old before I felt I could keep the house clean and cook meals for the family on my own!

I anticipated much the same this time around and was not looking forward to the feeling of being hopelessly helpless around the house while the mess accumulated, but it hasn't been like that at all.  We really haven't stopped for much of anything since Lily has been born, rather we have just carried on as usual.  We go to all our usual outings, and I've been able to keep up with my housework and laundry without much backlog.  Between Tyler and I we've been able to keep up with home cooked meals just like before she was born.  Good thing too, because we really hadn't prepared by making freezer meals ahead of time!

It helps a lot that Tyler's job right now is quite flexible so he can be around when I need him.  Some mornings he helps before he leaves to work, and he comes home for lunch most days.  He is also home early enough to help make dinner which is a big help.  We make a good team when it comes to getting stuff done around the house.

The boys are a handful but still relatively easy compared to most other kids their ages I think!  They are loud and hyper most of the time, but fairly independent which makes it easy to take care of all three kids because they are not constantly needing me to do things for them.  Tristan can be a really big help when he wants to, and actually has been since Lily has been born.  He can get snacks and drinks for him and Finn, and he can help Finn put his shoes on to go outside.  He can dress himself now with minimal help and take himself to the bathroom.  All that stuff makes a huge difference.

Lily has been a relatively easy-going and adaptable baby.  She is starting to become a bit of a fussy-pants and I think she might be following in Finn's footsteps as a fussy baby, but since there is no time to slow down she just has to tag along for the ride.  For the most part though I can just put her in the baby carrier which calms her right down and we can go anywhere like that.  As the third child I suspect she has no choice but to just go with the flow!

So we are keeping up just fine around here.  Our days are pretty much the same as they were before, only now it just takes a little extra time to get anything done or get out the door, but it's all good.