Unreal

Do you ever feel like this?  What do you call it?  Nostalgia I guess.

My husband still likes to listen to the loud music of our younger years.  Back in the day it was all about the loud, angry, swear-word ridden stuff.  Oh how I loved it.  But I can't listen to it now, it's just noise.  Not that I don't appreciate it for what it means to me and the role it played in who I am, but it's just not the soundtrack to my life anymore.  Not to mention there's no way in hell I would play that stuff around my children. 

Now, when Tyler is in the basement working and blasting his Nine Inch Nails, I am texting him with "Can you turn that racket down", and I'm always saying things like "You should turn to music down, you're going to damage your hearing".  I thought you don't have to say those things until your kids are teenagers?

When I was pregnant the first time I went out and stocked up on Jack Johnson, convinced that it was the only stuff I liked that I'd be happy to let my kids listen to as well!  So now my music tastes consist of the same kind of sound.  I still listen to a few of my favourite bands as well who's sound has evolved and matured as I am, so it still appeals to my mellow-ish taste.  My favs like Incubus and The Red Hot Chili Peppers are always putting out new stuff that seems to be grown up enough for me to enjoy still.

But...every so often....

I'm by myself.  I get the urge to listen to a song.  Something loud.  And dark.  And depressing.  And angry.  And it brings me back, to a place that I have almost forgotten existed.  A time when I was such a different person.  If I close my eyes I can go back there, and imagine what it felt like to be that 'me'.  It's unreal, I almost can't wrap my head around it. 

Music really is a time machine.  When you are young you make fun of older people for hanging on to the 'cheesy' music of their youth, but as you get older you really start to understand and the next thing you know, you find yourself doing the same.

Of course I would never trade in what I have now for all the world (including the music I currently love).  Life is always moving forward, people grow and change.  It's impossible to stay the same person you were, to do the same things you did, to know the same people and go to the same places and have the same tastes in music, fashion, etc.  That is life for you.  But if only for just one day, to feel like that again. 

I know you've all been there too.

Anyways, it always passes, because we live in the here and now.  Doesn't make it any less strange to me though.