This past weekend was brought to you by the letter F. F for fun-filled, family, friends, food, and even a little fitness. In one word, the weekend was fantastic.
I am feeling so good right now. So good that I want to burst. I can't get over it, I think about it all the time.
I distinctly remember last year, F was about a month old, and I sat at the kitchen table at my dad's chalet where we were staying, broken down in tears. How could we do this to ourselves? Why did we thinking leaving our familiar life in the city behind was a good idea? I remember the sense of dread, the feeling that we had made the single, largest mistake of our lives, and that there was no going back. I remember the months passing, and every time I hit a low point I would feel the same way. The feelings of wanting to leave this place and return to where we came were almost too much for me to bear. I remember sitting in the chiropractor's office one day, looking around and thinking, we don't belong here. Going back to the GTA brought with it overwhelming feelings of wanting to be back there. Even less than 6mos ago I was still having these feelings. They were less and less, but they were still there.
At this moment in time, it is like night and day. A complete turn around. 360. At this moment I absolutely cannot imagine our life any different. I cannot imagine how we would be any happier where we were than where we are now. Life is so good.
I also remember feeling not too long ago, a sense of sadness that our lives were not what I wished they would be. We had struggled so much financially and even though we were taking the steps to get back on track, it felt like we didn't have the funds to enjoy our lives. Not that you should have to have money to be happy, but the little things like extracurricular activities and family outings seemed to get sacrificed because we were on such a tight budget. I would wish things were different. It was like I was sitting there, waiting for a the magic solution to appear.
What a difference a positive attitude makes. We have embraced our challenges and are learning from them. We are building the lives we want for ourselves and our family. I remember longing for things but not knowing how to make them happen, and yet somehow we have gone and made them happen.
When I reflect on this past weekend, it is the epitome of all the things I have wished would happen for us.
I wished we could make new friends and build new relationships, and we have. We had some of our new friends over for dinner on Friday night, and it was a lovely, social evening.
I wished I were more fit and lived an active lifestyle, and I have been going to the Y and taking classes (cardio on Saturday was fantastic).
I wished we could eat healthier and look into better food options for our family. On Saturday we drove out to a local farm to look into buying more naturally sourced and organic meats and produce (and had the most fantastic dinner that night as a result).
I wished we got to spend more time with family. My brother Mike and Renee came up to spend Saturday night and Sunday with us, and Tyler's sister Rachael and her fiancee Scott came up on Sunday, and we all had a wonderful day spent at the Thornbury Harbour.
I wished we could spend more quality time together as a family. This weekend we took them to that farm where there was a petting zoo, which they loved. After that we hung out in the backyard which was relaxing and fun at the same time. And yesterday we got to do all sorts of fun stuff together at the harbour. We walked and had a nice lunch, the boys got to go into the water for a bit, and there was a great park. I know they had an amazing time.
The difference from last year to this year is unbelievable. I can't say it enough.
So as a result I am feeling good about our lives. We are still working on getting on track, but the future is looking very bright. It feels like so much of what we want is achievable, and we are really enjoying planning fun things for us, not only for the immediate future, but later on down the road as well.