Reading

I've actually had lots of stuff I've wanted to write about lately.  What I haven't had is lots of time.  And what little left over time I do have these days has gone to my new hobby.  Or should I say my newly rediscovered hobby:  Reading.

 

Once upon a time I enjoyed reading and read quite a bit.  Especially throughout my young adult years.  I wouldn't say I'm anything of a literary snob, mostly I enjoyed fiction and a good story.  Things that were easy to read, and entertaining.  Nevertheless, I read, and I often read a lot.  But not so much since having kids.  Aside from pregnancy, baby and parenting books, I think I've only read maybe one other book since becoming a mom.  Shameful!

 

I hadn't really cared though that I never read anymore.  That is until all my friends starting discussing all the books they were reading and I had nothing to say during the conversation.  So I figured I better get reading again.

 

In the past month I've read 4 books and am a good way into the 5th.  I started off with the Hunger Games Trilogy, which I knew I would like.  It was an easy read and a fast paced story, two things that I really like.  So it took me exactly 3 weeks to read all three books.  Of course I loved them.  Not exactly what one might consider great literature, but definitely a gripping saga.

 

My friend H reads a lot so while she didn't think much of the Hunger Games, she did recommend a book for me based on the fact that I like that sort of science fiction stuff.  The next book I read was Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood.  Definitely better literature than the Hunger Games (which I still liked better by the way), and a great read as well.  It had that similar disturbing post-apocalyptic feel with much better writing.  I finished that book in only a week as well.

 

Now I'm onto the Kitchen House, by Kathleen Grissom which has come highly recommended by all of my friends.  I've heard it's sad, which I'm not too keen on.  But so far it's really good.  I'm not sure exactly what to think of it.  I'm really into the story so far, but I don't know if it's my type of book.  I have a feeling it will be disturbing to me in other ways.  My friend C has described many of the books H recommends as intense, and I can see how this one would be considered that.  I have a feeling it will only take a week to finish this one off as well.

 

We're trying to establish a book club amongst the 5 of us, but so far have yet to all read the same book to discuss.  Once I finish the Kitchen House we'll all have read that one, and once S finishes the Hunger Games we'll all have read those as well, and then we'll have stuff to talk about.  After that point we've decided we have to get more organized and pick one book a month we can all read.

 

While initially I only started reading again to be included back in the conversation, I'm now happy that I have for my own sake.  I had totally forgotten what it's like to be so engrossed in a book that I'll sneak in any time I can to read it.  Which means that blogging gets pushed aside.  Oh well, it can wait!

The Big 3-0 (But not mine!)

Nope, not me.  I crossed that bridge in September last year.  It wasn't terribly exciting, much to my disappointment.  But Tyler made sure to make up for it with some fancy jewellery and a mini shopping spree, so I got over it.

 

This time it was his turn, and I spent a lot of the year wondering what I was going to do for such a big event.  At first I figured a party was out of the question, since I hate planning parties and everyone I would have invited was from out of town.  It's never a good idea to rely on your whole guest list to drive in from hours away.  But as the time got closer and we started to become good friends with other couples in town, I figured that there would be no harm in throwing him a surprise party. 

 

Over the summer we have started hanging out with our new friends more as couples, which has proven to be a lot of fun.  We've got a nice little group going with a good mix of people.  Some of the husbands have even started hanging out for 'guys nights' and going on what I like to joke are called 'man-dates'.  Having these new friends gave me the confidence to throw a party, knowing that there would be people who would show up.

 

I'm not a huge fan of playing hostess.  I'm usually self-conscious about the state of my house or the fact that I don't have any fancy stuff for hosting parties.  But this time I tried to push all that aside, reminding myself that people come over to see us and not our house or our stuff.

 

Of course it was stressful trying to plan and prepare for a party with 3 kids to deal with, especially when trying to keep it a secret.  My plans for the boys were up in the air because my mother in law was supposed to take them for the night but had warned me that she may have to leave to go to California at any moment because her mother was not well, so that meant I had no idea if they would be gone or if I'd have to deal with them at home.  Lily was of course going to stay here and I was counting on her sleeping well for the first half of the night as she usually does, but in the back of my mind I was always worried she's had a bad night and be waking all evening.

 

Add to that stress the fact that I seemed to catch some kind of tummy bug in the week before the party, and it was not exactly a stress-free week for me.

 

But everything came together in the end.  My awesome friends helped out by bringing some food and drinks.  My brother and his girlfriend came up before the party to help get ready and keep Tyler out of the way.  Laurie didn't have to run off to California which meant I was able to drop the boys off at her house for the night.

 

So what I told Tyler was that I planned for him and Mike to go fishing for the evening while I took care of the kids and put them to bed, to give him a night off from that stuff.  Then Mike and Renee would babysit them so we could go out for a nice dinner.  It took me ages to come up with a plan to tell him so that he wouldn't be suspicious, but it was the perfect one.

 

I sent him off fishing, packed the boys up and took them to their grandparents, put Lily to bed, then finished the preparations with Renee's help.  Our friends all showed up and hung out while we waited for his return.  They were such good sports, hiding in the dining room to surprise him.

 

And surprised he was!  I must of pulled it off because he seemed to genuinely have no clue what he was walking in to.

 

We had a lovely evening of food and friends, and I was so happy to play hostess for one night.  It's funny because a few of our friends have had us all over for dinner already, and just a few weeks ago Tyler had said to me that we'd have to apologize to everyone for never having them over.  Little did he know that I was secretly planning the next fun evening for all of us.

 

It was nice to surprise Tyler for his big 30th.  Of course we were all in pretty rough shape the next day, but it was totally worth it.

 

Now I have 10 more years before I have to plan another one for him.  And luckily that one will be easier because I'll have a bigger budget, and the kids will be much older and will hopefully be out of the way a bit more!

Four

I don't feel much like writing these days, hence why there have been no posts in August.  But I couldn't let the entire month slip by with nothing, so here I am for a quick one.

 

Guess who turned four this week?  FOUR!!  My Big Guy!  Once again I am in disbelief that he is another year older.  Didn't he just turn three?

 

His actual birthday was on Wednesday, but we decided to have his party last weekend.  This is the first year where he has been excited to have a party.  He still wasn't that much into planning it or deciding who to invite, but he was certainly excited there was going to be a party.  He had only one request:  a rainbow birthday cake.

 

I planned a very simple pizza party over lunchtime and invited close family and our good friends.  It still ended up being quite a few people, but it was a lot of fun.  We had about 10 kids and everyone was well behaved and got along.  It was quite nice.

 

I didn't end up making a cake or cupcakes this year as I have just been two busy with two toddlers and a newborn.  In fact just getting ready for the party with three kids underfoot was a huge task.  So instead we just went to Dairy Queen and got an ice cream cake (making sure to ask them to put a rainbow on it!) and some ice cream pizzas.  And Tristan was certainly happy with that!

 

It was a lovely party and Tristan got lots of nice gifts, and thankfully not too many toys.  In fact the ones he did get were all very cool and stuff he liked.  He got a really neat dinosaur excavation kit that he has been very into this week.  It's nice to see him getting into more mature activities.

 

On his birthday on Wednesday Tyler stayed for breakfast and we had a nice family morning.  Then we gave him the gift from us which was a Vtech Innotab, a tablet for kids that you can buy games for and download learning apps.  I also got him his own pair of craft scissors since he loves to cut, and a bunch of craft stuff.  He was thrilled with his own 'computer' and has been very into it ever since.  I can't believe how fast he's got it all figured out!

 

We had a nice day on his birthday.  We went to the Early Years Centre in the morning and in the afternoon went shopping for some back to school stuff for him.  Then friends of ours from out of town came for a quick visit and we went out for dinner.  After dinner Tyler took Tristan fishing for a bit on the pier.  I think he had a great birthday.

 

Four years old!  So hard to believe!  Next week he starts school.  My little boy is not so little any more!

Two Years on the Bay

This week marks 2 years since we moved out here and started our new lives.  It has been an amazing two years.  Well, the first year sucked, but I consider it amazing because we had to get through it to be where we are now.  And we couldn't be happier.  We've made great friends and are enjoying every minute of our lives here.  It's hard to believe I used to want to go back, now I know we would never go back!  We love living on the bay.

Of course, I've gushed about all this before so don't need to go on now.  But I did want to be sure I took a moment to remember that it's been two years.

Our big party last weekend was a success, and everything went wonderfully.  I think all our guests had a great time.  The weather was fantastic, the food worked out well, and we had lots of people show up.  The boys had an absolute blast, I think all the kids did.  I have tons of pictures, and if I feel up to it I will post some but I find that resizing and uploading them is such a big task that even if I start it I get frustrated and give up.  So maybe I will post them, maybe I won't. 

That's all for now, my blogging isn't very interesting these days!

Happy Two Years to us!

Little Dude's Birthday and Party Plans

Happy 2nd Birthday to my very special, very sweet, very funny Little Dude Finn!  I can't believe it's been two years since he was born.  What an amazing day it was.  I reflect on the birth of my children a lot, as expressed in previous posts.  I won't go into massive detail here, since I know I already did that last year for his 1st birthday!

I'm not really finding the words to describe how I feel on this particular birthday.  It's been a bit of a blur of normal life really.  We woke him up with a song and had a nice day together.  After dropping T off at school we went to Walmart and had a birthday muffin and smoothie at Tim's, then did a little shopping for his upcoming party.  He is such an amazing little man when we're out, so patient while sitting in the cart and hardly asking for anything.  It's really a pleasure to go anywhere with him.

After that we went home to hang out for a bit before picking T up from school, then had a yummy lunch before the boys went down for their naps.  This afternoon we just stayed home and the boys played while I got some housework done.  We were on our own for dinner since Tyler had to go down to the city, but we had a nice meal together and then after bath time I let the boys have some chocolate pudding as a treat for F's birthday.

So not a terribly exciting day I'm afraid, but we're saving all the excitement for his big party coming up this weekend!  I'm very excited!  We expect a lot of people to come out to the farm to celebrate with us, and while part of me feels like I should be overwhelmed this week while planning such a large event, I'm not at all.  Everything seems to be coming together nicely, and I am really looking forward to seeing a lot of our friends and family that we don't get to see too often.

We're doing a bbq style cookout at the farm, with lots of food and fun stuff.  I'm taking care of the dessert and am going to be making about 100 cupcakes, as well as a dirt cake.  Wow!  Now, I do feel a little guilty because I just went and bought cake mixes instead of making them from scratch.  I know I know, I have made such an effort in the past to make healthier varieties of cakes and cupcakes for the kids' birthdays.  I wanted to this time as well, but I just couldn't see how I could make so many from scratch on my budget, since the healthier ingredients required always end up being SO expensive.  So I'm cheaping out a bit, but they will still taste yummy that's for sure!  I might try making some rice crispy squares as well.

Another thing I try to do for birthday parties is avoid giving out treat bags that are filled with candy or crappy plastic toys.  This year for party favours I have sowed a bunch of extra tomato seedlings, and will give one to each child to take home and plant in their garden.  I'm also going to do little snack bags that are made out to look like butterflies and they will be filled with dried fruit instead of really sugary stuff.

I really hope the weather cooperates for this weekend, and I'm really excited to have everyone over to the farm to see it and to celebrate with us!

My littlest (but soon to not be the littlest anymore) guy is already 2.  Wow, just wow.  He is such an amazing little boy.  In fact, sometimes I can't believe he is the same baby that cried all the time and didn't sleep, because how he is now couldn't be further from that fussy baby.  He is so happy, and so social.  Everyone who meets him loves him to bits.  And we do too!

Happy Birthday Finn!!

The Invites Are Out!

Finn's 2nd birthday is fast approaching and I've just finished sending out the invitations for the big day.

Normally planning the boys' birthday parties stresses me out to no end.  I am not a natural hostess, I don't really enjoy throwing parties.  I mean, it always sounds like a great idea but the work involved ends up feeling so daunting.  Last year Finn's birthday party was very stressful for me.  We hadn't lived here that long and didn't really have any friends in the area.  Pretty much all our guests were from out of town and it was hard to know if anyone was even going to bother making the trek out here to see us.  I really hated the whole planning process.  So much so that I didn't even bother throwing a party for Tristan's 3rd birthday last summer, I just wasn't ready to go through the stress again.

This time though I'm actually quite excited for the next party, mainly because we have decided to pair it with sort of a grand opening of the farm and hops yards.  Also, we have so many friends here now as well as some family, so it almost makes more sense to throw a party when you know people nearby might actually come.

We're going to have the party on the farm the first weekend in May (so a little after Finn's actual birthday, but that's fine).  I'm hoping that will be a good time for the weather to be beautiful and not rainy, but the nice thing is that even if it is a rainy day we will still have the hoop houses and barn to stay dry in.  There is plenty of room in there.  And I'm sure that the toddlers would have fun rain or shine!

I've got some great ideas for kids activities so I think all the kids will have a great time.  There may be a lot of them if most of the families I've invited show up!  At first I thought we'd be crazy to have so many kids at the party, but knowing that it will be outside makes it less scary.  There is a playground right beside the farm that the kids can play at, and there's no shortage of things to do and places to explore.  I'm sure the little boys will love sitting on the tractor!

Not sure what we're going to do about food yet for all those people but we already have a bbq at the farm so that makes it a little easier.  We can just do hot dogs and burgers with a variety of other snacks on the side.  Nice and fun and simple.  I have some ideas for what I'd like to do for cupcakes and other desserts.

Party planning is still a bit stressful, but I'm really looking forward to the event.  I hope we get some great weather, and that lots of people come out to celebrate.  I can't wait to have a fun day for my boys and especially for Finn, but I also can't wait for people to come see the farm and everything we've accomplished so far. 

Life on the Bay These Days

You know, when I first started this blog I used to write a lot about random things that happened here, which was the point of starting it in the first place.  I still kind of do that, but I realized that there are often a lot of things going on that I would have written about before, but don't bother to anymore.  Which is kind of sad, afterall this is supposed to be about our life here.  Guess I've just gotten lazy.  I've also diverted a lot of that stuff to my other two more specific blogs.  Stuff about the boys gets put on my Dear Children, Love Mommy blog because I just found it easier to record everything about them in one spot, and also to write directly to them.  Stuff about this latest pregnancy gets put on my Doula Ambition blog.  I started that one as a place to keep all my pregnancy and childbirth thoughts, since I am very much into that kind of stuff, but since getting pregnant have also been journalling about my pregnancy there since it seemed appropriate.  So now I often feel like this blog is missing out on a lot of stuff that gets put elsewhere. 

Time for a little update on how Life on the Bay has been treating us.

It's still pretty awesome.

Life

Is good.  We have had a mild winter which has allowed us to stay active and not feel too cooped up in the house.  Tristan goes to school in the mornings and is doing very well there.  Finley enjoys his time with me in the mornings and we busy ourselves with trips to the YMCA or the Early Years Centre.  Rarely are we at home in the mornings and that's how we like it.  The afternoons are sometimes filled with classes for Tristan like skiing (which are now over) and junior chefs, but often we like to just stay in since the mornings are so busy.  I do look forward to the spring and summer though when we can just go play in the backyard or go for walks without having to worry about snowsuits, hats, mitts, and boots.  The boys are good, Tyler is good, I am good, the pregnancy is good.  I feel great and really can't complain about much.

Friends are the best

I'm still hanging out with the same wonderful group of ladies I met over the summer, and we've formed some great friendships.  Some of them have returned to work, and we don't see each other during the week for playdates as often since winter arrived but we make a point of getting together as much as we can otherwise.  We have been meeting for coffee every few weeks, and also planning girls' nights once a month or so as well.  Last time we went glow in the dark bowling which was fun.  This weekend we're having dinner and going dancing afterwards to celebrate one lady's birthday.  Well, not sure how keen I will be to go bar hopping at almost 5mos pregnant, but we'll see.  We also still plan playdates on the weekends, often meeting up for gymnastics, skating, or tobogganing with the kids.  In addition to the great close friends I've made, I'm also making new friends all the time.  When I first moved here and started looking for friends, I was always looking for people to connect with and hoping that it would turn into the kind of friendships where we hung out a lot.  I have been lucky to find that with my group of friends, but am also learning that I can be friends with a lot of different people, and those friendships can all mean different things.  Some women are other moms that I see at the same places every week, and we get a chance to talk there but don't necessarily plan anything outside of that.  Other people I've just become familiar with from running into around town.  It's been a really great feeling to know that I've met and connected with so many different people on so many different levels.

Fitness

This has been a big topic for me over the past year as I have strived to become more active, and I am still keeping up with it and going strong.  I always feel there is room for improvement in this department but then I also have to think about time constraints and that my family comes first, and also the physical restraints of pregnancy.  But there are times where I think I just want to spend hours in the gym working out and getting in shape.  Maybe one day.  I do manage to go to the gym about 5 times a week.  These days all I want to do is hoop and have been doing that as much as possible, but I have been doing spinning once a week still as well as some prenatal fitness and working out on the machines in the gym.  A friend of mine just sent me several great prenatal workout dvds in the mail as well so I am going to start incorporating those into my day as well at home while the boys are napping.  I think my hard work is paying off as I have been feeling great and I think I look fairly fit even for 20wks pregnant.  I do hope that I can stay in better shape for this pregnancy than I did for my last two, and also that I can snap back into shape quickly afterwards.

Down on the Farm

Progress on the hops farm has been great.  The mild winter has really been a blessing in that department because it allowed Tyler and John to get a lot of work done.  When I look back over the past few months I cannot believe how much they have accomplished together.  They have installed all the poles for the front 6 acres to be planted, built a barn, made a road, and built a bridge from the ground up.  Not just any bridge either, a proper bridge that will have to carry vehicles over the river.  A lot of time, planning, and money went into the design and construction of the bridge, and now it is almost complete.  It has been very exciting for Tyler to design and build it, and see it come to life.  I know he is very proud, and he should be.  I have gone through the seed catalogues and placed the order for all of our vegetable seeds, which should be arriving this week.  In the next few weeks our hoop houses will be built, and then we can begin starting our seedlings inside to get a head start on the growing season.  There is no way to describe how amazing everything is going on the farm, and we are excited to see what the next few months have in store as well.

Other Events

What other things have we been up to this year so far?  In January I participated in the Romp to Stomp out breast cancer 5km snowshoe walk with one of my new friends.  The weather was perfect and we had a wonderful day walking and raising money for breast cancer research.  That same weekend Tyler took Tristan on his very first overnight ice fishing adventure.  He had a great time, but it was still too much for him and by the end of it he was very tired and got a little sick.  Still, he loves to talk about the trip and how much fun he had.  In February Tyler's sister Rachael got married to her fiancee Scott.  The whole wedding was just lovely and we were happy to be a part of it.

That pretty much sums up how our winter has been, and it's only been less than 2 months!  Needless to say life is busy, but it's a good busy.  We are always optimistic, always looking forward.  It feels good to be happy and to have a good attitude about life.  Onwards and upwards from here! 

Fall Schedule

Fall is knocking on our door and brings with it lots of changes.  Tyler is wrapping up his position at the Landmark Group and getting ready to jump into a new life working with his parents on starting their farm.  T is still adjusting to mornings at school and is definitely experiencing some effects of his new routine.  F and I are trying to adjust too to mornings where we have to be out the door earlier.

I love fall, and I love how the dynamics of life seem to change at this time of year.  Kids go back to school, and all of a sudden it becomes apparent that the lazy days of summer are gone.  Vacationers are home, and everything just seems busier.  People are back at the Y working out, and classes are filling up.  Some of my exercise classes that only had 3 or 4 people in them during the summer now have closer to 20. 

T is still doing well at school.  He is excited to go in the mornings and he is enjoying himself while he is there.  I am so thankful that he likes it and does not get upset about having to go.  I know we are extremely lucky in that respect, as most kids would probably cry during their first week, or even longer.  When I drop him off he still goes off to join the other kids happily.  He gives me a kiss and off he goes, and when I pick him up he yells "Hi Mommy, you're back!!"  I'm so happy that he is enjoying it.

But we are still noticing the effect it is having on him overall.  Sleep is still a little tricky, and his sleep window is harder to find.  Last night he resisted going to bed for over an hour, something that is unheard of for him.  Sometimes his behvaviour is a little off too, and he will do things to get our attention.  I know that he just needs more attention from us during this time, and the right kind of attention too.  I think I need to pay close attention to his naps as well, it seems to be a fine line between letting him nap enough so that he's not too tired and letting him nap too much and he is not tired enough for bed.  He is not ready to drop his nap yet, especially after starting school, but I think that time is getting closer.  I'm trying hard not to get discouraged when we have some particularly bad behaviour from him, or when he gives us some trouble at bedtime, because I know that kind of stuff is to be expected after starting school and that overall he is actually doing brilliantly.

F is still very much enjoying his time with me.  He is happy and smiley all the time, and he is sleeping well too.  This morning was his first morning at the Y childminder's without T with him, and he did well.  He was upset and cried as usual, but settled down and was fine when I picked him up.  I still wouldn't say he enjoys being there, but he doesn't cry the whole time.  He knows I will be back for him and is so happy when I return.  After I picked him up we went to active tots and he had so much fun.  Again he seems so much more confident now that it is just me and him, and will run around and try new things.  He loves kicking and throwing the balls around.

This is Tyler's last week at the Landmark Group before he embarks on new adventures.  He is so excited to get out and do something different.  I know he is really looking forward to doing some hands on type of work on the farm.  He will also work on starting his small free-lance design business as well.  After this week it will be interesting to see how our routine changes again, once he starts working elsewhere.

I am still missing having T around, but also enjoying my time with F.  It is definitely busier for me having to get them out the door to get T to school, but it means that we have more time in the mornings to do other things before picking him up again.  Sometimes F and I go to the Y, other times the EYC.  He starts swimming classes this week which will be fun for us.  We have been very social, meeting with friends most mornings and some afternoons too.

I have kicked my exercise routine into high gear these past few weeks and am now doing both spinning and yoga twice a week, in addition to cardio on Saturdays.  Actually last week I even did yoga 3 times.  I have stopped going to pilates though as the time was just too inconvenient.  Amazingly Hillary and I have been getting up at 5:30am to do spinning and yoga on Friday mornings.  Even though I had a cold all last week I still made it to all my classes, exercise makes me feel so much better.  I love it, maybe I can even start going more often.

We also have some fun afternoon stuff planned for T as well.  I think this afternoon I am going to take him to all sport at the Y to see what he thinks about it.  He needs more physical activity in the afternoons.  On Thursday he has something called creating balance, and on Saturday he has rhythmic gymnastics.

I've been hanging out with all my new friends a lot too which has been fantastic for me.  It's so great to be social and it sounds like we're developing some really good friendships.  We even went out and hit the town on Saturday night which was so much fun.  We started at Corrina's house, then we to the Village where we checked out several different bars and had a great time dancing the night away.  It felt really good to get out of the house and have fun with the girls.

We've got all sorts of fun stuff planned for September and October.  My birthday is in a few weeks and hopefully Tyler has something planned for me.  On Thanksgiving weekend we'll visit with all our family, and we also have a birthday party to go to.  Later in October we've planned to go to Round's Ranch and get pumpkins with a bunch of other families which should be lots of fun, and then the week after it will be Halloween.  I still haven't figured out what to dress the boys up as.

So this has been a bit of an all around catch up post I suppose.  We're headed into fall and looking forward to a change of pace.  The fall weather seems to have come early, but hopefully that means winter won't be early too, there's still so much we want to do before the snow flies!

A Morning With Some Friends

Yesterday morning we met with some friends to stroll the boardwalk and hang out.  4 moms, 3 babies, and 5 toddlers - quite a feat!  But everyone had lots of fun.

Simone, Aiden, Tristan and Zach

Getting them all to smile for the camera at the same time is an impossible task!

Little Miss Austyn

Finn finally gets to walk with the big kids for a bit

Cutie Pie Kiera

Tackle soccer

Rolling down the hill!

The only one missing from the pics is Isabelle.  We'll get you next time baby girl!

Great time with friends!


Birthday, What Birthday?

It's September.  The 7th to be exact (and a very Happy 29th Birthday to my love, Tyler!  Enjoy this last year of your 20's my dear).  Which means the unthinkable is coming up in a few weeks.

I am turning 30.

Why does this bother me so?  Sigh, there is something about leaving your 20's behind and sliding that hideous '3' in front.  I wonder if 40 feels this weird.  I doubt it.  At 30 I'm just not quite ready to let go of the '2'....  I liked my 20's, they were where it was at.

SO, what is going on for this momentous birthday?  Well, last year I half-joked to Tyler that there had better be a HUGE surprise party for me.  Will that happen?  Not likely.  I love the guy, but I don't think he's much of a party planner.  Recently he had let me know that he would be going away on a fishing weekend the weekend of my birthday, making me realize he really hadn't thought about it at all.  I called him out on it and he assured me that there were big plans.  He just hadn't thought about which weekend to do it on.  I'm not 100% sure I believed him but I am trying to have some faith that he has put a little thought into it.

My new friends here have been asking me what I wanted to do for my BIG 30th and have set the ball rolling for a fun girl's night out.  I'm floored really.  I don't think ever I've had a friend really plan something for any of my birthdays.  Usually I had to plan my own birthdays and invite them, instead of the other way around.  But my friend C has insisted that this is a big one, and we must do something.  I'm so grateful to have met these ladies.  Not sure exactly what we are going to do yet, but it sounds like it has something to do with bars, alcohol, music, and dancing.  We just have to make sure we all take a nap that day so we make it past 11pm!

Ok, I am trying to feel less down and more excited about the prospect of turning 30.  I'm going to embrace my 30's and everything they have to offer.  Afterall, as much as my 20's rocked, right now is the best time of my life and I can only assume it will get better from here on in.  Older, maybe.  Wiser, most definitely!  Still cute and capable of having fun?  I hope so!

Hooray for Friends, New and Old

I recently realized that it hasn't been just since we've moved here that I have felt lonely.  It has been much longer than that, probably since around the time I first became a mom.  So much changes once you have kids, and often friendships are one of them.  I only had a few very close friends up until that point, but they were great friends.  We had common interests when it came to things like music, fashion, and lifestyle.  It was great to just hang out with them and do something fun, or nothing at all.

Inevitably we drifted apart probably even once Tyler and I got married, but definitely after I became pregnant and had T.  Such is life sometimes.  Sometimes there are reasons, sometimes not.  Sometimes life just takes you in a different direction.  I remember being pregnant with T and feeling very sad that my friends never called to see how I was.  In retrospect maybe I was selfish, after all it's not just about me all the time (though I know I tend to be one of those people that makes it about myself).  Nevertheless I did feel like I was still making an effort and they were not.  And at some point, you do just stop trying.

Now I can't remember who's fault it is that some of us don't talk anymore.  Probably both of ours, but one of those great friendships has disappeared.  The other two ladies and I keep in touch.  Like I said life has had different plans for us, and that is fine, but it means we don't get to see each other as often as we would like.

So for the past 3-4yrs while this has been going on, I had been feeling increasingly more alone.  And once you have children you want desperately to have friends you can relate too.  Mom friends, who you can share parenting advice and say "oh yeah, I get it!".  Even before moving I longed for those kinds of relationships.

Moving out here was a chance to start fresh and make new friends.  New friends with no baggage or past history.  Starting fresh from this point onwards.  For that first year I think I underestimated how hard a task this would be.  Things with two children were really hard, and I wasn't feeling myself.  In the late summer I met a few people, but then winter hit and I stopped seeing familiar faces.  I felt so low all winter, thinking I would never make new friends.

It's amazing how different I feel now.  We've been going to the Early Years Centre almost every week since we moved here, and it has been a great place to meet new people.  For the last couple of months we have been seeing the same families almost every week which has given me the opportunity to get to know some of them better.  It's also great that the boys are starting to recognize some of their playmates. 

Yesterday it went one step further and we were able to meet up with some of the moms that I talk to often at the park in the afternoon.  From there we were all invited to one of their houses so the kids could all play in the backyard (since it was getting hard to round them all up and keep them in the park area!).  I think one of the nicest parts is that these particular moms are all getting to know each other too, so it's not like I'm just the 'new' mom on the block. 

I feel like such a nerd for being so excited about the prospect of new friendships, but I have a good feeling about these ladies and am really hoping that this can progress into some really great friendships.  They all seem to be of similar age and attitude as me, and we all have kids the same age as another one's kids, so each child has a playmate even though overall they are aged 2mos-5yrs.

So after a lovely afternoon chatting in the backyard while the kids had a blast playing in the sprinkler, we all exchanged numbers and planned another meet up tomorrow at Sunset Point.  Hopefully the weather is nice so we can go. 

It has been so long since I have felt like I have a really good friendship with other ladies, so I am looking forward to getting to know them better, both through our kids but hopefully more personally as well.  One of the moms has suggested going out for drinks sometime which is a fantastic idea as I could really use some kid-free girl time!

And we can't forget the great friendship we seem to have developed with M and her boys as well.  I love that I have someone that I can feel comfortable calling to hang out, or that I can call in a pinch if I need someone to take care of the boys.  We definitely have a great time talking and the boys all have fun playing together.

Finally I feel like I am making the kinds of friends that I have been longing for since becoming a mom.  Of course I miss my old friends, they will always be a special part of my life.  We keep in touch and do plan on getting together when time allows.  I can't wait to see them, and I know it will be like old times when we finally do get to meet up. 

Making Friends

I am friendly and relatively outgoing, but a little shy when it comes to jumping in and meeting new people.  So it has been hard for me to make new friends here.  But I really wanted to, for myself and for my kids.  I really needed the adult interaction, and I knew the boys would love some other little friends to play with.

Just a few months ago there was still snow on the ground and I spent just about every day cooped up inside the house with my boys.  It was so depressing, and I felt so alone.  Occasionally I'd manage to get us all dressed up to go to the Early Years Centre, only to feel just as depressed there where I knew pretty much no one.  None of the ladies that I had become acquainted with in the fall were going anymore, and it seemed like all the other moms that were there already knew each other and had their little group of friends.  I was just the outsider.  I remember feeling really down about it.  Those were the times where I hated it here and wanted to move so badly.

Fast forward a few months and things are so different.  We seem to have a weekly playdate thing going with the family around the corner, and all the moms I met in the fall have been resurfacing now that the weather is nicer.  Everyone is feeling much more social.

So now in just the last few weeks, my fridge has started to become littered with names, numbers and email addresses of moms who would like to get together.  There is talk of parks and gymnastics, playdates and fun.  Now I'm just trying to figure out how to fit it all in!

Making new friends is like dating.  You prowl all the local haunts hoping to meet someone.  For me I've spent many mornings and afternoons wandering the streets hoping to run into other moms pushing strollers around.  I've hung around the park with an eye out, or gone to the EYC in hopes of seeing familiar faces. 

Then you gather up the courage to strike up a conversation.  It's pretty easy with kids around, everyone loves talking about their kids and there's no shortage of things to say!  Of course you're waiting to see if you hit it off initially (do your kids get along, do you have similar parenting views?).  Maybe after you've gotten a feel for each other, one person is brave enough to say casually "so we should hang out sometime", or even go so far as to write down their number. 

Of course it might take a few playdates to know if you are compatible and the kids all get along, otherwise you might opt to go your separate ways.

It's all very amusing.

So six months ago I felt pretty doomed to wander this town alone, an outcast among mothers with no one to relate to and no other kids for mine to play with.  These days I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm even trying to figure out ways to bring groups of moms together, maybe by forming some kind of club.  Although I don't want to be cliquey, I would just like a way I could maybe organize events and then notify all the moms I know to see who wants to join me.  It seems like in this town, being a lot smaller than where we came from, it's easier to form close knit groups.  I looked into maybe starting a group on Meetup.com, but there is a monthly fee and I'm not sure I'm ready to pay for that sort of thing.  Maybe if some of the moms I know are on Facebook I can create a group that way.  We'll see, I'm not quite at that point yet!

But I do foresee a great summer filled with lots of new friends!