The Reason I Write

I got a lovely compliment from a friend today.  After reading some of my blog she said that I was a great writer.  I was sincerely flattered to hear this, because I don't think of myself as a great writer.

Throughout my life, whenever I was faced with having to write something, I always mastered it.  I got plenty of compliments about my writing throughout the years from teachers.  But I lack something very important that makes one a great writer. 

I don't love it.  I am not passionate about writing.  Rather when I have to do it, I groan and get down to the task.  That is probably why, despite being told I was great at it, I never did anything with it.  You have to love what you do, and since I didn't love it, I didn't want to do it.

I took up blogging and journalling in recent months to keep track of our lives, and all the wonderful details of the boys lives that I am likely to forget.  But I am surprised with how well I have kept up with it.  I do look forward to writing things down, not because I enjoy the actual writing but because I love the memories that it will give me.  I started keeping track of events because I know that my memory is going downhill.

But writing has given me something back as of late that I didn't expect.  It is helping my memory.  I didn't realize that it was lack of any kind of writing that was turning my brain to mush.  When I was in school or working I was forced to challenge my brain in certain ways that I haven't done since becoming a mom.  NOT that what I do isn't challenging, rather it is more challenging than anything else I have done in my life.  But I was not using the same parts of my brain for putting thoughts together that I used to use academically or occasionally professionally.

So now my writing has so much more meaning for me.  It is an exercise in memory.  It is a challenge that I don't get from day to day life.  And while I still can't say that I love it, I do love the way it makes me feel, so I suppose that is something very special.  I hope I will keep it up for a long time yet.