Exploring Collingwood

I finally got myself a map of Collingwood's trails and figured today was as good a day as any to start exploring!  Even though it's not a very big town compared to what I am used to, I'm discovering new things every day.

We started off with a trip down Memory Lane.  Seriously, that's what this particular trail is called.

It was a really nice and well maintained trail that ran along a little stream.  There were houses on either side but lots of trees and plants too so it did feel like a nature walk.  Since it was an easy path, away from busy roads, I felt comfortable letting F out of the stroller to walk for a bit.  It was the first time he got to actually walk on one of our walks!  He looks so grown up.

T likes to push the stroller.  He's actually gotten quite good and pushing and maneuvering it despite it's size.  Less work for me!

Memory lane brought us to the Friendship Garden, a cute little park dedicated to Collingwood's sister city of Katano, Japan.  I had no idea this little piece of tranquility was even here, nestled right in the centre of town and was pleasantly surprised to see it open up to our right as we were walking along.

We continued on our way and came out at what I think is a museum of sorts.  I didn't get a chance to have a good look, but will have to go back and visit sometime.  This old CN railway car was parked there, which was exciting for T to see.  It was converted into an box office for some kind of theatre.

The trail continued down to the harbourfront, but unfortunately for today we didn't have time to keep going so we just doubled back down the main street, doing a bit of window shopping.  I like to catch my reflection in the windows to try and get a glimpse of what other people see as I walk down the road.

Yep, looks very mommy-like!

From there we cut through the neighbourhood, admiring all the unique houses, before heading back home to make dinner.

Another highlight - I made it through the whole 1.5hr walk in my new crocs.  I threw my running shoes into the stroller basket because in all honesty I expected my new shoes to start hurting my feet within 10mins, but nope!  Crocs certainly have much cuter styles these days than the traditional ones.

There are still so many great trails to explore, and now that I have my map I won't get lost.  The weather forecast for the rest of the week is fantastic, I wonder what other amazing things we will discover!

Making Friends

I am friendly and relatively outgoing, but a little shy when it comes to jumping in and meeting new people.  So it has been hard for me to make new friends here.  But I really wanted to, for myself and for my kids.  I really needed the adult interaction, and I knew the boys would love some other little friends to play with.

Just a few months ago there was still snow on the ground and I spent just about every day cooped up inside the house with my boys.  It was so depressing, and I felt so alone.  Occasionally I'd manage to get us all dressed up to go to the Early Years Centre, only to feel just as depressed there where I knew pretty much no one.  None of the ladies that I had become acquainted with in the fall were going anymore, and it seemed like all the other moms that were there already knew each other and had their little group of friends.  I was just the outsider.  I remember feeling really down about it.  Those were the times where I hated it here and wanted to move so badly.

Fast forward a few months and things are so different.  We seem to have a weekly playdate thing going with the family around the corner, and all the moms I met in the fall have been resurfacing now that the weather is nicer.  Everyone is feeling much more social.

So now in just the last few weeks, my fridge has started to become littered with names, numbers and email addresses of moms who would like to get together.  There is talk of parks and gymnastics, playdates and fun.  Now I'm just trying to figure out how to fit it all in!

Making new friends is like dating.  You prowl all the local haunts hoping to meet someone.  For me I've spent many mornings and afternoons wandering the streets hoping to run into other moms pushing strollers around.  I've hung around the park with an eye out, or gone to the EYC in hopes of seeing familiar faces. 

Then you gather up the courage to strike up a conversation.  It's pretty easy with kids around, everyone loves talking about their kids and there's no shortage of things to say!  Of course you're waiting to see if you hit it off initially (do your kids get along, do you have similar parenting views?).  Maybe after you've gotten a feel for each other, one person is brave enough to say casually "so we should hang out sometime", or even go so far as to write down their number. 

Of course it might take a few playdates to know if you are compatible and the kids all get along, otherwise you might opt to go your separate ways.

It's all very amusing.

So six months ago I felt pretty doomed to wander this town alone, an outcast among mothers with no one to relate to and no other kids for mine to play with.  These days I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm even trying to figure out ways to bring groups of moms together, maybe by forming some kind of club.  Although I don't want to be cliquey, I would just like a way I could maybe organize events and then notify all the moms I know to see who wants to join me.  It seems like in this town, being a lot smaller than where we came from, it's easier to form close knit groups.  I looked into maybe starting a group on Meetup.com, but there is a monthly fee and I'm not sure I'm ready to pay for that sort of thing.  Maybe if some of the moms I know are on Facebook I can create a group that way.  We'll see, I'm not quite at that point yet!

But I do foresee a great summer filled with lots of new friends!

Time to Get Caught Up

Ok, I'm going to attempt to finally get caught up here!

Last weekend was the Victoria Day long weekend.  Tyler was going to help my brother do some landscaping at his house, so we all decided to go for the weekend and stay at my dad's newly renovated house in Aurora.

The boys and I drove up on Friday after lunch to spend the afternoon with my dad since he was going away for the weekend.  He showed us around his house which looks amazing.  He basically had the whole inside gutted and redone.  There is still an addition to be built, but for the now the rest of it is spectacular.  We are lucky because now there is room for us to stay there, so we can visit any time we like.

On Saturday morning we drove to Stouffville to see the work the guys were doing on Mike's place.  T got to sit in a skid steer for the first time, but he was a bit grumpy so didn't really enjoy it.  I think if he had been in a better mood he would have been thrilled because he loves machines.

We had some breakfast in Stouffville then the kids and I headed back to Aurora to check out the Farmer's Market, which was really fun.  There was a fire truck there and T was excited to get to sit in it.  We picked up some fresh produce and played at the park, then got some lunch and headed back to my dad's.

Saturday night I actually did something I haven't done in ages.  I went out with friends!  It was my friend Crystle's 30th birthday, and when I saw on the invite that the party would be while we were in town, I asked Tyler if he would be ok staying with the kids while I went downtown with Mike.  I figured I'd put F down to bed before I went and hopefully he wouldn't wake up while I was gone, then Tyler could put T to bed.

For the first time in forever I got to put on a dress and makeup and go out.  It was a lot of fun!  I got to see some friends that I hadn't seen in a really long time.  We went downtown to the Brandt House for dinner.  There was dancing afterwards but unfortunately being the lame mom that I am, I couldn't stay up too late because I was so tired!  Mike and I took off around 11, and I didn't get to bed until almost 1.  So that part was hard, since I'm not used to being up so late.  But it was still fun to get out for a change and be social, and see some people I haven't seen for awhile.

Sunday morning I had a date with my good friend Amy and her daughter Sydney.  I was so excited to see them.  Amy is my bellydancing friend from back when I used to dance.  We were going to meet at the park but it was raining a bit so we met at the mall instead, which ended up working out well since there was a great play area there for kids.  I can't believe how much Sydney has grown since I saw her over a year ago!  She is 2 now and such a cutie.  The kids had fun and Amy and I got to catch up which was great.  It was so nice to see her.

That afternoon we had a bbq at my brother's which was fun too.  Mike has a drum set which T really loved.  Actually, T seems to have really good rhythm and a knack for drumming.  Oh dear, I think I see drums and lots of noise in our future!

Monday morning we got packed up, and then before hitting the road to drive home we met with another old friend, Kristine, for lunch.  It was so great to see her too, she is such a special friend of ours but has been in Montreal for school so we don't see her much.  Kris is one of my oldest friends, so I'm glad we got a chance to meet up.  Hopefully we'll see her again over the summer.

On our way home we stopped at the outlet mall in Cookstown to do some shopping.  Tyler and I were both in desperate need of some new clothes so we agreed we'd splurge a little since we have been so good with our budgeting.  There were some amazing deals there, at least for me!  I was so excited to leave there with tons of new clothes and a pair of shoes.

We made it home in good time and had a quick dinner then got the kids to bed. 

What a fabulous weekend!  The weather was just fantastic.  We got to catch up with so many great friends and family.  The boys were just amazing, and I am so thrilled with how adaptable they have become.  They both slept well considering we weren't at home, and they were on their best behaviour the entire time.  I can't believe how lucky we are to have such go with the flow children.

While I was visiting all my old neighbourhoods though, I was struck with a lot of feelings of wishing we were still there.  It has been awhile since I have felt that way, out of sight out of mind I guess.  I drove through Newmarket and Aurora, Stouffville and Markham, even downtown a bit.  Up and down the streets I used to take to go to friends, to the barn, to school, to work.  Roads I know like the back of my hand.  Everything was so familiar, and so beautiful, and I missed it so much.  Driving through the city late at night, seeing all the people out on the town, brought back so many memories for me.  I am such a victim of nostalgia.

But I did come to some realizations though.  I realized that my desire to live there again comes from memories that have passed, memories of an old life and an old me.  And that even if I were to live there again, it's not the same.  I also had moments this weekend where I did miss home.  I missed our house, and our yard.  I felt so relieved to feel that way.  So even though at times my heart was heavy with wanting to move back again, it was also uplifted by feelings of knowing where home is now, and that this is where we will stay.

There were a few crappy parts to our weekend.  T got carsick driving back from Markham to Aurora on Saturday.  I now have to make sure to give him gravol if we're going to be in the car 30mins or more, he just doesn't make it.  Poor guy.  Also, stupid me, I left my phone in the bathroom while we were at the mall on Monday.  It hasn't been returned, so looks like it's gone for good.  So dumb!  Still, I wasn't too bent out of shape since I had come away with so many new clothes!

But aside from those minor details, the weekend was so fantastic.  I've been having a hard time getting back into the swing of things!

Life is good though.  The weather is finally picking up, and I am loving where we live.  I'm also feeling good about making lots of new friends.  It seems spring time and nice weather bring everyone together, and now when I go out I'm seeing so many familiar moms and talking about getting together with them and their kids.  We even have a playdate with M and her two boys again tomorrow.

I think that's all for now, hopefully I haven't forgotten anything!

Still Here

I need to catch up.  But not now.  We've been so busy I haven't had time to post, and now there is so much to write about.  It will have to wait as bed is calling and I'm so very tired.

But it is moments like these that I have to take a moment and sigh.  I love my babies.  They are crazy, and they keep me so busy.  At the end of the day though, just thinking about them makes me smile.  I want to go sneak into their beds and snuggle them.  I miss their smiles, even though I saw them all day long.

Why is it that you spend all day counting down until bedtime so you can get some peace, only to wish they were awake to laugh and play with?

Now it's time for me to go to bed.  I'm still overtired from our weekend away.  But more on that later.

Goodnight!

The Fit and Active Family

I'd like us to be one of those.  That was one of our main deciding factors for moving out here, so that we can instill a love of outdoor activity in our children.  Afterall, how could you not live in a town like this and not enjoy all it has to offer?  Neverending bike and hiking trails, ski slopes on one side and the bay on the other.  We'd be silly not to get involved.

But it's not that easy!

When I go to the Y I am surrounded by all these fit moms.  I listen to them talk about their cycling marathons or discuss how intense their latest spinning class was.  I watch them drop off their kids at the childminder's then hit the gym.  I see them drive off in their SUVs with bike racks on the back and kayaks on top.  In the winter they'll trade them for ski racks.  Outside the bikes lined up all have trailers attached to the back of them.

Did you know that bike trailers aren't just for bikes?  You can buy attachments for jogging and cross country skiing as well! 

I do want us to be one of those families.  I want to be able to go on long bike rides with the kids in tow, throughout all the amazing trails around here.  Kayaking looks like great fun, and I definitely want to be a skiing family as my dad used to take my brother and I skiing when we were kids and those are some of my fondest childhood memories.

Well all that stuff is bloody expensive.  I looked at bike trailers when I was checking out double strollers, but we don't even have bikes and they're certainly not in the budget for this year, or next for that matter.  Kayaks, skis, are you kidding me?  Maybe one day.  We'll have to work up to that.

But what about me?  I want to be a fit and active mom!  Ok, I got my stroller and so you will find me marching all around town.  I pretty much refuse to drive anywhere, even when it's raining.  And twice a week I put on my workout gear to hit up zumba.  But for now, that's about it. 

The gym is not my thing, mostly because I feel lost in amongst all that equipment.  I much prefer group fitness.  I really want to try a group cycle class, it looks like so much fun and a great way to get fit.  But I am so intimidated by them.  When I walk by and peek in and see all the super strong people in there, spinning away with sweat dripping off them, I can just picture myself in the back looking like a fool struggling to keep up.  I had a wellness coach show me how to adjust the bike, but I'll be darned if I can remember how!  If only I had someone to go with me and walk me through the process, I'm sure a few times into it and I would feel more comfortable.

There is also a 20-20-20 class on Monday mornings that I think I would do well in.  Right now though we have only budgeted so that I can put the kids in childminding for one hour a week, for my zumba class (the other one being in the evening so Tyler watches them).  So it's not looking like I will be trying cycling or any other weekday classes any time soon.

On the weekends there is a yoga and a pump circuit I want to try.  It just seems like we are always rushing off to do something.  Or like in the case of this weekend, Tyler isn't even around to watch the kids for me.  Hmpf.

So being fit and active is not as straightforward as it seems!  But it is yet another goal to work towards as we build our life here.

I do look forward to when the boys are older, and hopefully we can enjoy all these activities together as a family.

Eeek!! Grey hair?

When I was pregnant with T, about 3yrs ago now, Tyler discovered one lone grey hair one day.  I thought he was joking.  Until he plucked it out and showed me.  I cried.  Seriously, right there the tears started flowing.

Since then there have been one or two more.

Then these past few days, not one but THREE!  Which makes me wonder, how many more are lurking up there that I can't see?

So this is it then.  I will be 30 this year which I suppose marks the end of...what?  My youth?  I don't know, all I know is I'm not too impressed to be getting older, and now apparently looking older too with my newly discovered grey hair.  I don't feel 30, I still feel 25 (most days anyways).  I don't think I look 30, I've always tended to look younger than my age.

But then again, maybe I do look 30!  When I met new moms, I often wonder how old they think I am.  Most of the time I assume they think I am young.  In my mind they are thinking "Wow, that mom looks way too young to have two children!"  But then the reality is, no I probably don't.  Maybe they even think I look older (heaven forbid!).

I know I know, age is just a number, and it's all about how you feel.  I do feel good, and I plan on looking and feeling good for quite awhile yet.  Just hoping my hair cooperates a little bit longer.  I'm not keen on whipping out the boxed hair dyes any time soon.

Oh well, at least the wrinkles seems to be holding off for now.  I guess I'll get really upset when the first one of those makes it's appearance!

The Bad and The Good

Maybe because it is dreary and rainy out.  Or maybe it's because T has been sick this week and it has just been so draining dealing with all the whininess or clinginess.  Or maybe it's because Tyler has taken off on one of his fishing trips, and I hate it when he's gone.  I'm just feeling so uninspired when it comes to thinking of something to post about.

But it's not all bad.  There is some good.  I guess I'll talk a bit about both.

So, crappy stuff from this week.  First off, F's failed meds wean.  I tried, it didn't seem like he was ready, so I put him back on.  I was pretty disappointed, but seeing as how his mood and sleep improved pretty much immediately I'm fairly certain he needed the full dose back.  He had his 1yr checkup this week though, and the doctor really wants to see us try to wean again soon.  I agree, I do want to try, but it is just not that straightforward.  I'll probably give it another shot in a few weeks.

I was also disappointed to learn he really has not gained any weight since his last checkup, 3mos ago, and really is a teeny little thing.  I figured he was at least 20 lbs, but he's not, he is only 18 lbs 12oz.  Not even 19 lbs!  I think T was about 20 lbs at a year.  I know he is fine, I know he is really active, and that he doesn't eat that much, and that with my genetics my children will never be huge.  But it has made me want to focus more on his eating as it is just rubbish. 

Then there has been T's mystery virus which has made for a very difficult week.  On Tuesday afternoon he came down with a fever, and by dinner that night he was a wreck.  I can't remember the last time I saw him like that.  He managed to sleep it off, and while he was feverish on and off for a few days after it really didn't progress into anything.  However as a result he has not been sleeping well, and he has been soooo whiny.  Like whinier than he has ever been.  And clingy.  It has been hard to deal with.  I know he isn't feeling well, but at the same time I just want my happy toddler back!

And finally, Tyler's fishing trip.  I like that he has a hobby that he really enjoys, but I hate that it consumes him so much.  I also hate his trips where he goes away for a few days.  I don't really like it when he's gone, but it's not just the time he is gone.  When he plans one of these trips, he spends so much time preparing, sorting his gear, shopping for stuff, making stuff, and packing it's ridiculous.  It means that for a trip where he'll be gone 2 days, I actually lose his company for the better part of a week.  It's depressing.  It's made even worse when things are off with the kids (like T being sick) and I know I'm left to deal with it on my own.

I think that is the hardest part for me.  My job does not end, it is almost 24/7.  So as much as any working adult, I look forward to the weekends when he is home and I have a little help with the kids, and maybe get a little break.  Particularly after a week like this, where the boys have both been hanging off me and whining in my ear, not to mention sleeping poorly which means I have not had much sleep myself.  The weekends are a chance for me to hopefully get some help, and maybe a little rest.  Well, not when he takes off.  To me it feels never ending, last week bleeds into next week with no break in sight.  Exhausting.  I guess too that I'm a little resentful that he can just take a break from all the whining, and crying. 

But that is enough with the miserable stuff, how about the happy stuff, eh?

Like, we had a really great play date this week!  One mom friend I have made invited me and the boys over on Thursday morning and we had a really great time.  The boys all seemed to play well together, and M and I had a chance to chat and get to know each other better.  Their house is just lovely and they have the most amazing backyard.  T got to jump on a trampoline for the first time which he really enjoyed.  We took a stroll down to the stream and all the boys ended up stomping through the water, getting soaked.  The older boys had to walk home with wet pants and shoes, but we stripped the younger ones down to diapers and shirts and walked back.  It was loads of fun, and I am so happy that we seemed to have clicked with another family.

We had some beautiful, warm weather this week.  The boys and I tried to get out a lot, and actually I got to chat with some other moms at the park that I've seen around the neighbourhood.

T is officially enrolled in Montessori for September, yay!

I made it out to zumba twice this week which is great.  I always feel more human when I get to escape and exercise, even if it's just for 2 hours a week.

Today after swimming we went to the Teddy Bear Picnic at the YMCA.  It was inside since it was raining, but was good fun nonetheless.  There was a bouncy castle (T's favorite!), arts and crafts, balloon animals, and all sorts of other activities.  T got to sit in a police car and push the siren button which he really liked, and he was so excited to see a real fire truck up close.  He got to pet a snake as well.  We had a really nice time.

So there you go, the bad with the good.  Gotta look at both sides!  Hopefully I will feel more inspired next week.