The countdown to F's birthday this Saturday is on, hence why I have not posted in a few days. Not that there are people on the edge of their seats waiting to read what I have to write! Ha ha!
We've been really busy ticking things off the to-do list before the weekend. Actually, we're moving along at a really good pace and getting things done properly. Hosting a party is a good way to do all the little things around the house that usually get put off! The place is looking really good which is nice to see. I've been busy cleaning out and organizing all the little areas that usually get neglected, and am happy with the results.
Once you have kids you really start looking at moments from the past a different way. With each approaching birthday a mother is always thinking about the events leading up to that special day, from the moment she first stared at a positive line on a pregnancy test to the grand moment of her child's birth. Several memories have been crossing my mind these past few days. The first is the day I found out I was pregnant with F.
When T was about 9mos we were talking about when we wanted to have another baby. After some discussion (and much to my disappointment) we decided to wait a little longer to start trying, probably not until the new year.
Both my boys were born on Fridays, therefore both of their 1st birthdays fell on Saturdays. The Wednesday before T's first birthday I decided to take a pregnancy test, mostly just for fun. I didn't really think it would amount to anything. Tyler dropped T and I off at the mall (I didn't tell him I was going to take one, as I was sure it would be negative and I didn't want to worry him unecessarily), I bought the test, and we walked home. I took the test right away, and I can still remember my heart beating faster and faster as it turned positive, it was the biggest shock of my life!
Because I was worried what Tyler would think, all I could think about was telling him in person right away. So when he walked in from work that night, stressed after a long day, I just blurted it out. I had to get it out. I braced myself for disappointment from him, but after his initial look of shock he just said, "Well, that's great!"
Today is the Wednesday before F's birthday, the 'same day' I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. I don't know why I think about it so much. I guess because that shocking positive test was so exciting. I remember those first days, walking around in a haze, not really believing it. I remember having T's party, and knowing that we knew our little secret and no one else did yet. I love being pregnant. I loved the surprise F gave us. He is still surprising us to this day. I suppose that somehow, I kind of wished that it would happen again, that I would somehow be pregnant again before my child's 1st birthday, and for whatever reason, I'm a little sad that I'm not.
It's silly really. We don't even know for sure if we will have another baby, although in my heart I really, truly hope so! I know it won't be soon and most certainly not before F's birthday! But I do hope for that excited feeling again.
So that is one thing that I have been remembering lately. The other thing that I've been remembering today, is this day last year. Like I said, when your child's birthday is approaching, you think about the days leading up to it, knowing that at this time exactly one year ago your life was about to change forever. Nothing brings more change to your life than the birth of your child, so it's impossible not to think about it really.
This time last year I was approaching my due date (May 1st), and really hoping that F was not going to be late! I had been doing everything safe and natural that I could to get labour going, because I knew that if he wanted to stay in there too long, induction was not an option for me (because of my VBAC situation). For weeks I had been drinking raspberry leaf tea, and using homeopathic and natural remedies to prepare my body. I had acupuncture done to help induce labour and was massaging acupressure points on a regular basis. I was practicing exercises to make sure he was in the right position. I was walking as much as possible, and doing my hypnobirthing exercises and visualizing his birth. I didn't want to give him any excuses not to come out!
On this day, April 27, I had my checkup with one of our midwives, Annabel. She did an exam and discovered that I was already 2cm dilated! She was quite optimistic that we were headed in the right direction and that F would be making his appearance soon. She opted not to do a sweep at that point, just hoping that the exam itself would be enough to sort of get the ball rolling.
I went home and continued the wait. Because T's birth was a planned cesarean, I had no idea what labour was like, or what I was supposed to be on the lookout for!
Re-living all the events leading up to my children's birth is so exciting for me. So I'll continue to write about it the rest of the week so I can get it all out.
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